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    What Should I Major In?


    Question: What should I major in?
    My opinion:

    In the world of positive thinking, self-help, personal growth… the common recommendation is to do what you love. If you love art, become an artist. If you love music, do something in that field and so on. The reason for this is if you hate your job, you won’t be very happy.

    I admit, I used to think this way myself and I’m sure I’ve posted quotes and articles about doing something you love. My opinion back then would be to choose a major you think you will enjoy working in.

    What’s my advice now? Choose a major that’s useful, something that is in demand, needed, and has a high enough income potential where you won’t be living paycheck to paycheck for the rest of your life due to a low ceiling.

    A few decades ago, a 4 year college degree was a big advantage. Landing a job was quite easy with that sort of degree. These days, not so much. Just graduated with a 4 year degree? Great, so did tens of thousands of other people. You now have to compete with them to grab one of the limited amounts of positions available and if you chose a degree with very little demand, it’ll be even tougher to land a job.

    Am I saying to put your career and money above your happiness and whatever it is you love to do? Sort of but not necessarily. Let me explain.

    If what you love to do happens to be in good demand and you can make a career out of it, great. Chances are though, what most people love to do either doesn’t really pay that well or has too much competition.

    Love to travel? Playing video games? Watching TV? Browsing the web? So does a lot of other people. This doesn’t mean there aren’t people out there making a living doing what tons of people love to do because there are, but speaking in a practical sense, when you finish college, you’ll likely have student loans to pay off, car payments, rent, and other expenses and if you don’t start making money, life is going to become quite stressful.

    Having to work at a job they don’t particular love isn’t something most people are excited about. In fact, it sucks. But the reality is, being financially stressed all the time also sucks.

    Choose a major/career that is in demand and pays decently such as computer programming, software development, nursing, dentistry, accounting, sales, careers that involve fixing things, etc. Avoid majors like history, art, math, English, political science, etc.

    Basically, if you don’t know how you’re going to make a living with a particular degree, think twice about pursuing it. Unless you really want to be a (insert degree) teacher, choose something more practical.

    Does this mean you should give up on your dream career? No. Look, there are plenty of examples of people who pursued what they love and are making a great living out of it but there are even more examples of people who are having a hard time.

    So my advice is to major in something that will eventually make you money during normal working hours and if you have a dream job/career/business you want to pursue, work on it outside of normal business hours.

    Once your income from your passion surpasses the income you rely on to live, you can then decide whether or not to quit your job and go full time on your passion.

    Is this the ideal path? Probably not, but in my opinion, in most cases, it’s the most logical path. You might not love that job but you’ll be able to pay off your student loans, save money for retirement, start a family, plan some vacations, finance your dream business, and so on. Another benefit you may find is having a huge amount of motivation to work toward your dream job/business due to not liking your job very much.

    Another thing to keep in mind is you never know what you’ll end up loving. Some people chose careers based on potential earnings and ended up loving what they do so that’s a possibility as well.

    People say money isn’t the most important thing but the reality for many people is, when there’s no money, it can become the most important thing.

    Originally Written by : Kevin Ngo
    Link to original article: click here

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    Dj Khaled Quotes: The Keys To Success

    @djkhaled has quickly become the hip hop Tony Robbins with his quotable keys to success series. If you follow him on Snapchat and/or Instagram, you’ve probably come across a few of these.

    As a DJ, Khaled has always been known for his famous one-liners and lyrics on songs, but this social media series of ad-libs is winning him a lot of new fans.

    Below are many of the most memorable “keys” and other classic Dj Khaled quotes.

    Another One!

    They don’t want you to win – Dj Khaled

    Watch your back, but more importantly when you get out the shower, dry your back. It’s a cold world out there. – DJ Khaled

     

    Be a star. Be a Superstar. – DJ Khaled

    I remember when I ain’t have a jacuzzi – DJ Khaled

    The other day the grass was brown, now its green cuz I ain’t give up. Never surrender. – DJ Khaled

    Almond milk + cinnamon crunch = major key to success. – DJ Khaled

    The key is to enjoy life, because they don’t want you to enjoy life. – DJ Khaled

    They’ll try to close the door on you… Just open it. – DJ Khaled

    To succeed, you must believe. When you believe, you will succeed. – DJ Khaled

    In life everyone has a choice. The key is: make a right choice. – DJ Khaled

    Bless up. Don’t play yourself. – DJ Khaled

    The key is to be honest. Be honest, but don’t play yourself. – DJ Khaled

    You do know it cost money to put a t-shirt on your back? You do know it cost money have a house? You do know it cost money to eat? Get money, don’t let these people fool you. – DJ Khaled

     

    We have to get money. We have no choice. It cost money to eat. – DJ Khaled

     

    The key to more success is coco butter. – DJ Khaled

     

    They never said winning was easy. – DJ Khaled

     

    I know that I’ve been put on this Earth to make people happy, to inspire people, and to uplift people. That’s a beautiful thing. – DJ Khaled

     

    We go hard. In everything we do we’re going to accomplish our victory and our goal. If it takes a day, a year, or 20 years, we’re going to win. I haven’t taken a loss because everything I’ve done has been a working process to win. From being a kid on them turntables to becoming where I am is not a loss. It’s a blessing. – DJ Khaled

     

    I can deal with everything. I got the answer for anything. – DJ Khaled

     

    There will be roadblocks but we will overcome them. – DJ Khaled

     

    Key to more success is a clean heart and a clean face. – DJ Khaled

     

    Working all winter shining all summer – DJ Khaled

     

    Give thanks to the most high. – DJ Khaled

    Some of the guys when they play, they try to keep it reality. Nah, I need the best everything. – DJ Khaled

     

    Always have Faith. Always have Hope. – DJ Khaled

     

    The key is: never fold. – DJ Khaled

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    The Positivity Fast

    Positivity is crucial to living life on a new level. Positive thoughts, feelings, and actions are what will take your life from where you are to where you want to be.

    Positive people live better lives, their thoughts are focused on the good, whereas negative people live miserable lives, enslaved by their thoughts of what they lack. It is of utmost importance to only allow positive thoughts to dwell within your mind. See the good that is coming to you, take the actions required, and attain the results that you desire.

    For the next 70 days, only think, speak, and act in a positive manner. Engage in the positivity fast, do not think, speak, or act in a negative way. If you can do this for the duration you will start to reprogram your mind.

    Many people unconsciously are so focused on the negative aspects of life, observe yourself and others and you will see what I am referring to, when you speak about something good, people have an almost natural tendency to be negative, that seems to be a result of the conditioning of the world and the environment in which we live in, where people are so obsessed with looking for what will and can go wrong, rather than looking at the situation with the eyes of optimism, possibility, and belief.

    So take on the challenge starting from today so that you can be different from the rest. Let the positivity fast begin, and hold your tongue if you do not have anything good to utter, and you will see your life change for the better.

    Next 70 Days Of Positivity:

    1. Think only Positive thoughts
    2. Think Happy thoughts
    3. Think Prosperous thoughts
    4. Think Limitless thoughts
    5. Think thoughts of Abundance
    6. Think about what Action you can take
    7. Think about how Blessed you are
    8. Think about what you do Have
    9. Think of the Solutions
    10. Always look for the Good
    11. Speak only of the Good
    12. Speak only of Positive things
    13. Speak to yourself in an Encouraging way
    14. Speak with Confidence
    15. Speak with Optimism
    16. Speak with Belief
    17. Act with Optimism
    18. Act with Confidence
    19. Act with Fearlessness
    20. Act with Courage
    21. Act with Hope
    22. Act with Positivity

    Engross yourself in positivity and dwell in the realm of possibility. Let go of those thoughts, feelings, and actions that weigh you down and confine you to a timid life. And let go of those people who are engrossed in negativity. It is vital for your success to distance yourself from people with bad energy and surround yourself with positive individuals. Be the change you wish you to see in the world. Don’t let the world darken your light. Rise up within yourself and take your mindset to a whole new level.

    Originally Written by : Asad Meah
    Link to original article: click here

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    HOW TO GROW THE FUCK UP: A GUIDE TO HUMANS

     

    When I was like four years old, despite my mother warning me not to, I put my finger on a hot stove. The stove was red and bright and shiny and I knew yummy food came from it, so the allure was irresistible.

    That day I learned an important lesson: really hot things suck. They burn you. And you want to avoid touching them again.

    Around the same time, I made another important discovery. The ice cream that my parents would treat me on occasion was stored in the freezer, on a shelf that could be easily accessed if I stood on my tippy toes.

    One day, while my mother was in the other room (poor mom), I grabbed the ice cream, sat on the floor, and proceeded to engorge myself with my bare hands.

    It was the closest I would come to an orgasm for another ten years. If there was a heaven in my little four-year-old mind, I had just found it. Fucking perfection. My own little bucket of Elysium filled with congealed divinity.

    As the ice cream began to melt, I smeared an extra helping across my face, letting it dribble all over my shirt, practically bathing in that sweet, sweet goodness. Oh yes, glorious sugary-milk, share with me your secrets, for today I will know greatness.

    …then my mom walked in. And all hell broke loose — including but not limited to a much-needed bath. I learned a lesson that day too. Stealing ice cream and then dumping it all over yourself and the kitchen floor makes your mother extremely angry. And angry mothers suck. They are not pleasant to be around. They scold you and punish you. And that day, much like the day with the stove, I learned what not to do.

    But there was a third, meta-lesson going on here as well. It was a simple lesson — a lesson so obvious that we don’t even notice when it happens. But this lesson was actually far more important than the other lessons: eating ice cream is better than being burned.

    That might not strike you as profound. But it is. That’s because it’s a value judgment. Ice cream is better than hot stoves. I prefer sugary sweetness in my mouth than a bit of fire on my hand. It’s a discovery of preference and, therefore, prioritization. It’s the knowledge that one thing in the world is preferable to the other and, therefore, all future behaviors will consider that fact.

    And this is the job of drooly little four-year-olds. To explore ceaselessly. To discover the world around them — to determine what feels good and what feels bad — and then create value hierarchies out of this knowledge. Ice cream is better than being burned. Playing with the dog is more fun than playing with a rock. Sunny days are better than rainy days. Coloring is more fun to me than singing. These feelings of pleasure and pain become the bedrock of all our preferences and knowledge going forward in life and actually lay the foundation for what will become our identity later.

    WHAT IT’S LIKE TO GROW UP

    A friend of mine once described parenthood as, “Basically just following around a kid for a couple decades and making sure he doesn’t accidentally kill himself, and you’d be amazed how many ways a kid can find to accidentally kill himself.”

    One could say young children are always looking for new ways to accidentally kill themselves because the driving force behind them is an innocent curiosity. Early in life, we are driven to explore the world around us because our brains are collecting information on what pleases and harms us, what feels good and bad, what is worth pursuing further and what is worth avoiding.

    But eventually, the exploratory phase exhausts itself. And not because we run out of world to explore. Quite the opposite, actually. The exploratory phase wraps up because, as we become older, we begin to recognize that there’s too much world to explore. It’s too much to take in. You can’t touch and taste everything. You can’t meet all the people. You can’t see all the things. There’s too much potential experience and the sheer magnitude of our existence overwhelms us.

    Therefore, our brain begins to focus less on trying everything for ourselves and more on developing some rules to help us navigate the endless complexity of the world before us. We adopt most of these rules from our parents and teachers. But many of them we figure out for ourselves. For instance, after fucking around near enough open flames, you develop a little mental rule that all flames are dangerous, not just that one on the stove. And after seeing your mom get pissed enough times, you begin to figure out that stealing is always bad, not just when it’s ice cream.

    As a result, some general principles begin to emerge in our minds. Practice care around dangerous things so you won’t get hurt. Be honest with your parents and they’ll treat you well. Share with your siblings and they’ll share with you.

    These new values are more sophisticated because they’re abstract. The little kid thinks, “Ice cream is awesome, therefore I want ice cream.” The adolescent thinks, “Ice cream is awesome, but stealing stuff pisses my parents off and I will get punished; therefore, I’m not going to take the ice cream from the freezer.” The adolescent applies rules and principles to her decision making in a way that a young child cannot.

    As a result, an adolescent learns that strictly pursuing your own pleasure and avoiding pain can cause problems. Actions have consequences. You must negotiate your own desires with the desires of those around you. You must play by the rules of society and authority, and then you will, more often than not, be rewarded.

    This, quite literally, is maturity in action: developing higher-level and more abstractprinciples to enhance decision making in a wider range of contexts. This is how you adjust to the world, how you learn to handle the seemingly infinite permutations of experience. It is a major cognitive leap for children and fundamental to growing up in a healthy, happy way.1

    When we’re toddlers, we are learning to see the world in terms of cause and effect. Of pleasure vs pain. Touching the hot stove causes pain in my hand. Therefore, it is bad. Stealing ice cream from the freezer causes my body to feel pleasure, therefore it is good. Good is better than bad.

    This is why young kids are like little sociopaths. They cannot conceive of anything in life beyond what is immediately pleasurable or painful for them at any given moment. They cannot feel empathy. They cannot imagine what life is like in your shoes. They just want some fucking ice cream. NOW!

    What happens when we get older is we begin to understand that there are multiple consequences to any single action and many of them affect us either indirectly or at some point in the future. General rules and trade-offs are understood as the way these consequences function. Mom and Dad get angry if I steal something; therefore, I will not steal, even if it feels good. My teacher will punish me if I talk in class; therefore, I will not talk, even if I want to.

    The knowledge of pleasure and pain is still there in these older children. It’s just that pleasure and pain no longer direct most decision making. They are no longer the basis of our values. Older children weigh their personal feelings against their understanding of rules, trade-offs, and the social order around them to plan and make decisions.

    This is an improvement, but there’s still a weakness in this adolescent approach to life. Everything is seen as a trade-off. Older children and adolescents (and a shocking number of adults) approach life as an endless series of bargains. I will do what my boss says so I can get money. I will call my mother so I don’t get yelled at. I will do my homework so I don’t fuck up my futureI will lie and pretend to be nice so I don’t have to deal with conflict.

    Nothing is done for its own sake. Everything is a calculated trade-off, usually made out of fear of the negative repercussions.

    You can’t live your entire life this way, otherwise, you’re never actually living your life. You’re merely living out an aggregation of the desires of the people around you. To become an optimized and emotionally healthy individual, you must break out of this bargaining and come to understand even higher and more abstract guiding principles.

    HOW TO BE AN ADULT

    When you google “how to be an adult” most of the results that come back talk about preparing for job interviews, managing your finances, cleaning up after yourself, and not being a disrespectful asshole.

    These things are all great, and indeed, they are all things that adults are expected to do. But I would argue that they, by themselves, do not make you an adult. They simply prevent you from being a child, which is not the same thing as being an adult.

    That’s because most people who do these things do them because they are rule- and transaction-based. You prepare well for a job interview because you want to get a good job. You learn how to clean your house because it has direct consequences on your health and what people think of you. You manage your finances because if you don’t, you will be royally fucked one day down the road.

    Bargaining with rules and the social order allows us to be functioning human beings in the world. But ideally, after some time, we will begin to realize that the whole world cannot always be bargained with, nor should we subject every aspect of our life to a series of transactions. You don’t want to bargain with your father for love, or your friends for companionship, or your boss for respect. Why? Because feeling like you have to manipulate people into loving or respecting you feels shitty. It undermines the whole project. If you have to convince someone to love you, then they don’t love you. If you have to cajole someone into respecting you, then they don’t respect you. The most precious and important things in life cannot be bargained with. To try to do so destroys them.

    You cannot conspire for happiness. It is impossible. But often this is what people try to do, especially when they seek out self-help and other personal development advice — they are essentially saying, “Show me the rules of the game I have to play; and I’ll play it.” Not realizing that it’s the fact that they think there are rules to happiness that’s actually preventing them from being happy.

    While people who navigate the world through bargaining and rules can get far in the material world, they remain crippled and alone in their emotional world. This is because transactional values create toxic relationships — relationships that are built on manipulation.

    When you achieve adulthood, you realize that viewing some relationships and pursuits as transactions guts them of all joy and meaning. That living in a world where everything is bargained for enslaves you to other people’s thoughts and desires rather than freeing you to pursue your own. To stand on your own two feet, you must be willing to sometimes stand alone.

    Adulthood is the realization that sometimes an abstract principle is right and good for its own sake. The same way that the adolescent realizes there’s more to the world than the child’s pleasure or pain, the adult realizes that there’s more to the world than the adolescent’s constant bargaining for validation, approval, and satisfaction. The adult does what is right for the simple reason that it is right. End of discussion.

    An adolescent will say that she values honesty — because she has learned that saying so produces good results — but when confronted with the difficult conversations, she will tell white lies, exaggerate the truth, and fail to stand up for her own self-worth.

    An adolescent will say he loves you. But his conception of love is that he gets something in return (probably sex), that love is merely an emotional swap meet, where you each bring everything you have to offer and haggle with each other for the best deal.

    An adolescent says she is generous. But when she does favors and gives gifts, it’s always done conditionally, with the unspoken idea that she will receive something in return at some later date.

    An adult will be honest for the simple sake that honesty is more important than pleasure or pain. Honesty is more important than getting what you want or achieving a goal. Honesty is inherently good and valuable, in and of itself. An adult will love freely without expecting anything in return because an adult understands that that is the only thing that can make love real. An adult will give without expectation, without seeking anything in return, because to do so defeats the purpose of a gift in the first place.

    So the little kid steals the ice cream because it feels good, oblivious to the consequences. The older child stops himself from stealing it because he knows it will create worse consequences in the future. But his decision is ultimately part of a bargain with his future self: “I’ll forgo some pleasure now to prevent greater future pain.”

    But it’s only the adult who doesn’t steal for the simple principle that stealing is wrong. And to steal — even if they got away with it! — would make them feel worse about themselves.

    IF ONLY THERE WERE MORE ADULTS IN THE WORLD

    Now, I know what you’re saying, “Geez Mark, by your definition, most of the people walking around in the world are shit-brained adolescents, or worse, a bunch of over-sized children.”

    Well… yeah. Have you talked to any humans lately? By and large, they kind of suck.2

    Here’s a sad fact: few ever make it to adulthood. And fewer manage to stay there. Why is that?

    1. When we are little kids, the way we learn to transcend the pleasure/pain values (“ice cream is good,” “hot stoves are bad”) is by pursuing those values and seeing how they fail us. We steal the ice cream, mom gets pissed and punishes us. Suddenly, “ice cream is good,” doesn’t seem as straightforward as it used to — there are all sorts of other factors to consider. I like ice cream. And I like mom. But taking the ice cream will upset mom. What do I do? Eventually, the child is forced to reckon with the fact that there are unintended consequences from pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain.
    2. This is essentially what good early parenting boils down to: implementing the correct consequences for a child’s pleasure/pain-driven behavior. Punish them for stealing ice cream. Reward them for sitting quietly in a restaurant. You are, quite literally, helping them to understand that life is far more complicated than simply pursuing one’s pleasure and avoiding one’s pain.3 Parents who fail to do this fail their children in an incredibly fundamental way because, as children grow up, they will experience the shocking realization that the world does not cater to their whims. This will be incredibly painful for them, far more painful than it would have been had they learned the lesson when they were younger. And as a result, by having to learn this lesson at an older age, they will be socially punished by their peers for not understanding it. Nobody wants to be friends with a selfish brat. Nobody wants to work with someone who doesn’t consider others’ feelings or appreciate rules. The un-taught child will be shunned and ridiculed for their behavior in the real world, resulting in even more pain and suffering.
    3. Parents can also fail their children in another way: they can abuse them. A young child who is abused also does not develop beyond their pain/pleasure-driven values because their punishment follows no logical pattern and doesn’t reinforce deeper, more thoughtful values. It’s just random and cruel. Stealing ice cream sometimes results in harsh pain. Other times it results in nothing. Therefore, no lesson is learned. No higher values are produced. And the child never learns to control her own behavior. This is why children who are abused and children who are neglected often end up with the same problems as adults: they remain stuck in their childhood value system.
    4. Even worse, if the abuse is extreme enough (or if the child is particularly sensitive) this constant pain can become baked into their psyche going forward. Their normal day-to-day existence will be a state of distrust and fear, and they will compulsively seek pleasure to assuage that underlying pain. This is where addiction and compulsion are born. Alcohol, sex, drugs, gambling, Instagram — as they grow older they will be compulsively sucked into these activities because it allows them to become distracted from themselves, to momentarily forget who they are and what they feel. More significantly, many abused children will subconsciously seek out further abuse in their adult relationships for the simple reason that abuse is the only thing that makes sense to them. It becomes an identity for them. They need it to feel whole.
    5. People get stuck on the second adolescent stage of values for similar reasons, although the results are less severe. Some people are incredibly good at playing the bargaining game. They are charming and charismatic. They are naturally able to sense what other people want of them and they are adept at filling that role. Put bluntly: they’re too good at manipulating people to get what they want. And because their manipulation rarely fails them in any meaningful way, they come to believe that this is simply how the whole world operates. Everyone is like this. Everyone is manipulative and controlling. Love is bullshit. Trust is a sign of weakness.
    6. It requires good parents and teachers to not allow themselves to succumb to the adolescent’s bargains. It is their responsibility to point out to the adolescent that this sort of behavior is a never-ending treadmill, that you can only get so much from the world by bargaining with it, that the only things in life of real value and meaning are achieved without conditions, without transactions. The best way to do this is through example. The best way to teach an adolescent to trust is to trust them. The best way to teach an adolescent respect is to respect them. The best way to teach someone to love is by loving them.
    7. When parents and teachers fail to do this, it’s usually because they themselves are stuck at an adolescent level of value judgments. They, too, see the world in transactional terms. They, too, bargain love for sex, loyalty for affection, respect for obedience. In fact, they likely bargain with their kids for affection, love, or respect. They think it’s normal, so the kid grows up thinking it’s normal. And the shitty, shallow, transactional parent/child relationship is then replicated when the kid begins forming romantic relationships.4
    8. Some adolescents become stuck at the second stage for the same reason others are stuck at the first: abuse and trauma. Victims of bullying are a particularly notable example. A person who has been bullied in their younger years will move through the world with an assumed understanding that no one will ever like or respect them unconditionally, that all affection must be hard-won through a series of practiced conversation and canned actions. You must dress a certain way. You must speak a certain way. You must act a certain way. Or else.
    9. As adults, they will move through the world assuming all human relationships are a never-ending tit-for-tat trade agreement. That intimacy is no more than a feigned sense of knowing one another for each person’s mutual benefit. Again, this is because, in the transactional world of high schools, this person was mistreated and abused for doing those transactions poorly. They didn’t dress the right way. They weren’t a “cool” kid. They got bad grades or had a learning disability or were scrawny and awkward. As a result, they are psychologically punished for decades, as they live the rest of their life in constant fear of ever fucking up a transactional relationship ever again. And instead of recognizing that the problem is the transactional approach to the world itself, they assume the problem is that it took them so long to do the transactions appropriately.

    It’s probably an overstatement to say that Marilyn Manson saved my life. But he might have saved my maturity. When I was 13, I was kicked out of my school and lost almost all of my friends. My parents divorced a few months later, and not long after, my brother moved out of the house. To get me away from the bad influences around me, my parents sent me to a Christian school in suburban Texas5 where I knew no one. I was an atheist and unathletic geek in a state that worships football and Jesus, in that order.

    For a while, it wasn’t pretty. I got shoved into some lockers. I got laughed off the football field. It took me almost two years to make any friends. It sucked. I felt the compulsion to try and fit in, to buy into the transactional nature of the high school social life, to “fake it to make it.” But, at the same time, it was those very behaviors everyone expected from me that I hated so much.

    Marilyn Manson was an inspiration to me around this time because through his music and in his interviews, he vocally pushed a message of self-empowerment, especially to disillusioned teens like me. It was he who first suggested that I get to decide what is cool and not cool, that people shame non-conformists because they are afraid of not conforming themselves, and that daring to not conform and empowering yourself to be who you want to be is what gave others permission to do the same.

    Today, Marilyn is often remembered for his cheesy makeup and his shock rock outfits on stage. People don’t realize how in-touch he was with the disaffected suburban youth of the 90s. There’s a reason he shocked people with his intelligent interviews as much as he did for his stage antics. That’s because there was always a message beneath his madness: that you don’t have to buy into the transactional game if you don’t want to. You are always free to choose. And not only are you free to choose, but you are obliged to choose who you are going to be, whether you realize it or not. The only question is: do you have the courage to do it? Do you have the courage to be an adult? Do you have the courage to decide for yourself what your values are?

    WHAT LEVEL ARE YOUR VALUES ON?

    The problem with writing about any sort of hierarchy like this is that every reader tends to immediately imagine themselves on the top rung, taking discreet pleasure in judging the masses of poor, unfortunate souls stuck on the rungs below them.

    The fact of the matter is that if you are reading this, most of your values are likely in the pleasure/pain stage or the transactional stage. I know this for the simple reason that the majority of the population is still floundering in these stages most of the time (myself included). And let’s be real: this is a personal development site — you wouldn’t have come here if things weren’t a little bit fucked up already.

    On top of that, these high-level, adult values are the definition of what we consider to be noble and virtuous. It’s the CEO who takes the blame for an employee’s fuck up. It’s the teacher who sacrifices her vacation days to help tutor a struggling student. It’s a friend who risks the friendship by telling you that your partying has gotten out of control.

    We all know and revere these stories. And the reason we know and revere them is that they’re uncommon. Because we rarely, if ever, are able to do these things ourselves. Most of us, most of the time, are stuck at the level of bargaining, of asking ourselves, “Yeah, but what’s in it for me ?” or worse, at the level of childish pleasure, screaming, “GIMME THAT, I WANT IT!”

    The truth is, it’s hard to detect what level our values are on. This is because we tell ourselves all sorts of elaborate stories to justify what we want. A gambling addict will compulsively pursue the thrills of making and losing money, but in his head, he’s invented a convincing story about how he’s going to win everything back and show everyone he’s not a loser (adolescent bargaining) or that he’s actually doing this for the good of his family (adult virtue).

    This is bullshit, of course. He simply can’t help himself.

    It’s clear, then, that we can’t trust our own interpretations of our actions. There’s a small mountain of psychological evidence to support this: we feel something first, then we justify it later with some story we tell ourselves. And that story is usually highly biased and vastly overestimates how noble and selfless we were.6

    Therefore, we must learn to distrust our thoughts. We must become skeptical of the interpretations of our own actions. Instead, we must focus on the actions themselves.

    Thoughts can lie. Interpretations can be changed or forgotten. But actions are permanent. Therefore, the only way to get at your values — to truly understand what you value and what you do not — is to observe your actions.

    If you say you want to go back to school and get your degree, but it’s 12 years later and you’re on excuse number 57, then no, you don’t actually want to go back. What you want is to feel like you want to go back. And that is completely different.

    If you say you value honesty in your relationship above all else, yet regularly hide your actions and behaviors from your partner, actively question their motivations and where they’ve been, and snoop into their text messages when they’re sleeping, then, no, you don’t value honesty. You say you do to justify your lower-level values.

    Chances are you’re good at adhering to higher-level values in some contexts and not others. There are people who are great friends but shitty parents. There are people who are great parents but shitty professionals. There are people who are just shitty people but holy fuck, are they productive. We all have our areas of maturity and immaturity.

    Most recurring emotional problems people experience are simply first- and second-level value systems that are being held onto despite the fact that they are failing. A mother who fights with her children constantly because they don’t call her with a certain regularity is holding onto a transactional approach to love — the idea that love can be quantified and measured. A friend who tells you white lies probably does so because he doesn’t want to threaten whatever he’s getting from you. A co-worker who steals your work and calls it their own is indulging in a compulsive desire for pleasure (or, in this case, success).

    The only way to get clear about our own values is by learning to observe our own actions and observing them dispassionately as if we were neutral bystanders:

    • Actions that consistently hurt yourself or others, that you find yourself excusing repeatedly and/or lying to hide, probably indicate you have a low-level compulsive pleasure/pain driven value. Lying is inherently selfish and designed to make way for our most selfish desires. If I lie to my wife about where I was last night, then it signifies, by definition, that I am acting selfishly and compulsively. Generally, the more lying, the more compulsive we probably are.7
    • Actions that are premeditated with the desire to get a certain result out of someone or something, are bargaining/transactional values. There’s a difference between telling someone you’re interested in them because that’s what you think they want to hear, and simply telling someone you’re interested in them because you’re freely expressing yourself. The latter is honesty, the former is manipulation. And the line between the two is blurry for a lot of people.8
    • Actions motivated by deeper ethical principles that you’re willing to suffer for because you believe they are right in all contexts, regardless of the specific outcome to yourself, are representative of higher-level adult values.

    These are things you come to understand about yourself because you question not only your actions but your interpretations of your own actions. You must sit and think critically about yourself and about what you’ve chosen to care about, not through word, but through deed.

    Ultimately, this is what it means to “know thyself” — to know your own values, to have a clear understanding of your actions and what motivates them, to understand what level of maturity you’re operating on.

    Any time you sit down with a therapist or coach or friend, this is the process that is happening. You are describing your actions and your interpretation of those actions. With the guided assistance of the therapist/coach/friend person, you then sit there and pick apart whether or not your interpretations of your actions actually make sense. Or are you just deluding yourself? Do your actions reflect what you think is important? If not, where is the disconnect?

    It’s this process of aligning your self-interpretation with your actions that gives you control over your life and your actions. It’s this alignment that allows you to feel a sense of meaning and fulfillment in your life. To become happy and healthy. It’s this alignment that allows you to grow up.

    OUR CULTURE’S MATURITY CRISIS

    Modern democracy was basically invented under the assumption that the average human being is a selfish delusional piece of shit. The belief went that the only way to protect us from ourselves is to create systems so interlocking and interdependent that no one person or group can completely hose the rest of the population at any given time.

    Put another way, the founders and Enlightenment thinkers understood that the games of politics and statecraft are inevitably played at the level of bargaining and transactional relationships, and therefore systems need to be constructed in such a way that no one person (or organization) can win too much, too often.

    Most politicians make their names and their livings by existing in a vast web of transactional relationships. They bargain with their voters and donors. They bargain with each other to build coalitions and alliances. They bargain with other branches of government and political parties to jockey for prominence and position. Politics is a transactional and selfish game, and democracy is the best system thus far for the sole reason that it’s the only system that openly admits that.

    There’s only one way to threaten a democratic system: by demanding one’s own desires and pleasures are more important than anyone else’s. That is, by being childish.

    This is what extremists are: childish. They’re a bunch of fucking babies. Because extremists are intractable and impossible to bargain with, extremists are, by definition, childish. They want the world to be a certain way and they refuse to acknowledge any interests or values other than their own. They refuse to bargain. They refuse to appeal to a higher virtue or principle above their own selfish desires. Therefore, they ruin everything around them.

    Extremists are dangerous because they know how to dress up their childish values in the language of transaction or universal principle. A right-wing extremist will claim he desires “freedom” above all else and that he’s willing to make sacrifices for that freedom. But what he really means is that he wants freedom from any other values. He wants freedom from having to deal with change or the marginalization of other people. He wants the freedom to pursue his own impulses and desires.

    Extremists on the left play the same game, the only thing that changes is the language. A leftie extremist will say that she wants “equality” for all. And that she will give up anything for it. But what she really means is that she never wants to feel inferior or harmed. That she never wants to feel threatened or unsafe. Essentially, that she never wants to feel pain. And demanding that everyone be treated equally at all times, in all circumstances, is one way of running away from that pain.

    Extremism, on both the right and the left, has undeniably risen in the past few decades. There are likely many complicated and overlapping reasons for this. But I’ll throw out one idea: that the maturity of the voting population is deteriorating. American culture is based on the indulgence of pleasure and avoidance of pain. American consumerism has become so good at indulging these childish impulses that much of the population has come to see them as rights. Extremists on the right respond to the fact that they believe climate change is a hoax or evolution is fake with the claim that they have the right to believe anything they want to. Extremists on the left respond to the fact that people are inherently unequal, and a free, functioning society requires there to be winners and losers by claiming they have a right to whatever treatment someone else has.

    These are childish views. They deny reality. And when you deny reality, bad things happen.

    The problem is that the media (again, both on the right and the left) has discovered that reinforcing the childish wishes of extremists on each side is good for business. That’s because extremists, like children, are compulsive. They don’t know how to stop. They are addicts for their cause. They throw their lives away for it. And because they will throw their lives away for an imagined cause, they make for the most impassioned audience. And with the internet squeezing the media’s business models dry, they’ve slowly had to resort to pandering to the most reactive and virulent people out there: the childish extremes. The extremes get the most attention. They get the most clicks. And they cause the most controversy. So they dictate the media’s discourse.

    Welcome to 2018. Let’s hope we all survive.

    HOW TO GROW UP

    STEP 1 – FAIL

    Chances are, if you’re reading this, and you’re still stuck organizing your life around pleasure/pain values, or transactional/rule-based values, you probably don’t need me to explain why they cause problems — your life is already a fucking mess.

    But just in case you do, here you go:

    • Pleasure/pain values fail for the simple reason that pleasure and pain are bad long-term predictors of health, growth, and happiness. OK, yeah, touching a hot stove sucks and you shouldn’t do that anymore. But what about lying to a friend? Or waking up early for work? Or, like, not doing heroin. Those are just a few of the millions of examples where pursuing pleasure/pain values will lead you astray.9
    • Transactional/rule-based values rob you of the trust, intimacy, and love necessary to remain an emotionally healthy and happy human being. This is because, when you view all relationships and actions as a means to an end, you will suspect an ulterior motive in everything that happens and everything anyone ever does to you.

    Before you can move on and learn from these flawed value systems, you must experience the pain of them failing. That means not denying that they are failing. That means not avoiding the pain of that failure. That means facing that failure head on and admitting what is plain to see: that you fucked up, and there’s gotta be a better way.

    STEP 2 – SKIN IN THE GAME.

    People operating on a childish pleasure/pain values derive their self-esteem from how much pleasure or pain they feel. Therefore, when they feel good, they feel good about themselves, and when they feel bad, they feel bad about themselves. So when a person at this level fucks up big-time, their first explanation is likely going to be, “I’m a piece of shit. I’m a horrible person. What was I thinking?”

    This is harmful. This likely makes the problem worse. The problem is not you. The problem is what you’re choosing to value, how you’re choosing to see the world and the way in which it operates. There’s nothing wrong with pleasure. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with pain either. It’s the reason each occurs that makes them right or wrong.

    Recognizing this truth is what gently shoves your value-system into a more mature bargaining/transactional level. You didn’t fuck up because you caused pain. You fucked up because you caused pain for bad reasons. The reason a drunk driver hitting another car is so unethical is not because people got hurt — it’s because the drunk driver is far more culpable than the other person — i.e., the transaction was unfair.

    A lot of people try to “fix” those who suffer from compulsive actions and are stuck in the pleasure/pain value system by bringing them straight up to adulthood. They want to teach alcoholics the virtue of honesty. They want to convince violent abusers of the importance of generosity and patience.

    But you can’t do that. You can’t skip stages. That’s like skipping algebra and going straight to calculus. You can’t go from a child to an adult without being an adolescent in between.

    People stuck at compulsion need to first learn to think of things in transactional terms. Alcoholism isn’t bad because your body is a temple and self-harm is intrinsically wrong — those are adult values.

    No, alcoholism is bad because it’s a bad trade-off. It hurts people. People who don’t deserve it. People you love and want to help. It fucks up other life plans. It destroys families, finances, and fidelity. It’s essentially giving up a mountain for a molehill.

    Addicts and criminals often overcome this by latching onto some transactional value. For some, it’s religion. But for most, it’s usually a loved one. I once spoke to a recovered drug addict who said the only thing that got him through was his daughter. He didn’t give a shit about himself. But the thought of her losing out on the opportunity to have a father, when she had done nothing to deserve it, brought him to his knees and eventually got him sober.

    Addicts often talk about “hitting rock bottom.” Rock bottom is a place that is so destructive, so painful, that they are no longer able to avoid the simple fact that their behaviors are destroying their own lives and the lives of others. It’s only with this intensely painful realization that the addict is confronted with the transactional nature of life. That their choices have consequences, not just for their future self, but for others. And those consequences must be managed.

    We move beyond our childish values when we realize that we have skin in the game — that there are repercussions for our actions beyond our immediate self.

    This is why research has found that the most effective ways to break any bad habit is to — you guessed it — to bargain for it. Try this: write your best friend a check for $3,000 and tell him if you ever smoke another cigarette, he can go cash it. It’s shocking how effective this is. Create consequences for yourself. Create accountability.

    STEP 3 – BE WILLING TO DIE FOR SOMETHING.

    Getting a solid footing on transactional/bargaining values will make you a functioning human being. But it won’t make you a mature adult. You’ll still suffer from transactional, toxic relationships and crises of meaning in your day-to-day life.

    The key difference between an adolescent and an adult is that the adolescent is scared to do anything unless they feel confident that they’ll get something in return for it:

    • They don’t want to risk quitting their job unless they know they’ll be happier somewhere else.
    • They don’t want to tell someone they have feelings for them unless they can guarantee a satisfying relationship will occur.
    • They don’t want to risk sharing their ideas unless they know they will win the approval of others.

    To an adolescent, the way they feel about themselves is determined by how well they’re able to bargain with the world. And if they fail to bargain with the world, then they will blame themselves. For this reason, the adolescent is scared to death of rejection or failure. To them, to fail or be rejected is a sort of death because everything they want from the world — all meaning, all purpose — will be denied them.

    It’s this willingness to die that leads to adulthood. Adulthood occurs when one realizes that the only way to conquer suffering is to become unmoved by suffering. Adulthood occurs when one realizes that it’s better to suffer for the right reasons than to feel pleasure for the wrong reasons. Adulthood occurs when one realizes that it’s better to love and lose than to never love at all.

    • An adult looks at that career change and says, “I’d rather be dead than a zombie who sleepwalks through a life not his own.” And he quits.
    • An adult looks at that person they have fallen for and says, “I’d rather be dead than to hide my heart from the world.” And she speaks.
    • An adult looks at their ideas and says, “I’d rather be dead than to suppress my own talent and potential.” And then she acts.

    An adult accepts that there are some ways of living life that are worse than not living at all. And because they recognize this, they are able to act boldly in the face of their own shame or fears.

    In my book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck , I relate a number of painful and traumatic experiences from my adolescence: the dissolution of my family, painful social rejections, the loss of my first romantic relationship, the death of a friend.

    Because I experienced so much hurt in my relationships when I was younger, for much of my early adulthood, I approached relationships in algorithmic terms: I studied books on relating to people and learned how to present myself in ways that minimized rejection, that gave me more influence over people’s perceptions of me. I pursued sex relentlessly, in an attempt to make up for the depth of my emotional pain with superficial, hollow relationships. For many years of my life, I saw friendships simply in terms of utility: I do this for someone so I can get something in return. And the moment a relationship began to cause me pain, I would find a way to escape it.

    I was very successful at this for many years. I created and then escaped from — literally, I traveled the world to get away — dozens of relationships with otherwise good people, some of whom really cared about me, but who I was not mature enough to handle.

    But this escapism was a solution that was as painful as the problem. The only thing more painful than losing a significant relationship is not having a significant relationship. And it slowly began to dawn on me that happiness was not the point — pain was. That the same way the struggle and challenge in my professional life made my accomplishments more meaningful, the willingness to face pain and discomfort was actually what made relationships feel meaningful. Not the sexiness or excitement or satisfaction.

    And so, at the ripe old age of 30, I finally came to understand what it meant to live my life as an adult. That it’s the ability to choose: what pleasure is worthwhile, what pain is worthwhile, to pursue and love unconditionally, without judgment or shame. So I chose to celebrate. Me and eight of my closest friends went to Las Vegas and drank about $1,000 of alcohol in one night. And it was wonderful.

    Originally Written by : Mark Manson
    Link to original article: click here

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    4 Essential Money-Making Tips You Should Follow

     

    A recent study by Purdue University found that there’s an income line an individual must meet so that life feels more enjoyable. The study that was drawn from a Gallup World Poll covering over 1.7 million suggests that this income line is around $100K per year, especially for those living anywhere in America, Australia or Europe. The study suggests though the happiness curve flattens as you reach a certain degree of income, you still need money to feel happy, confident and relaxed. So how can you make more money?

    Here are four money tips you need to follow to increase your income this year:

    1. Find your unique PQO

    “If you want to become extraordinary, you need to figure out the productive outputs that matter in your field or industry,” says the high-performance coach and bestselling author, Brendon Burchard.

    One of Burchard`s keys to massive productivity – and making money – is focusing on what he calls ‘The Prolific Quality Output’ (PQO): The one thing you output that you must produce consistently to take your business to a new level.  A PQO is the essence of your business and whether you find it or not will determine how much money you`re going to make.

    For salespeople, a PQO is contacting prospects. For entertainers, writers and Vloggers, it`s producing content every day. For athletes, it`s taking more throws, running more miles or swimming more laps. If you can figure out your PQO and produce more of it, then you will make more money.

    “If you want to become extraordinary, you need to figure out the productive outputs that matter in your field or industry.” – Brendon Burchard

    2. Build strong relationships with everyone

    Moving from the bottom fifth to the top fifth of your classroom popularity can increase your income by 10 percent according to a recent study by Stanford University. Another study by psychologist Richard Wiseman also found that there`s a strong relationship between luck and the size of one`s network.

    Wiseman, who surveyed over a thousand millionaires, lottery winners, and happily-married couples, noticed that building strong relationships was one thing for which lucky people were known for. They referred to themselves as ‘people collectors’ and used any chance they could get to connect with new people just to have fun.

    You can have more money if you commit to improving your social skills. Your network can give you media coverage, get you hired and promoted, and help you make more sales. First, you should understand the role that relationships play in your life and how they affect your happiness and income, then commit to becoming genuinely interested in people.

    Set a goal each month to approach a certain number of people and make it a habit to follow up with these people. By the end of the year, and regardless of where you start, you will have a decent network, and you`ll feel more confident around people.

    3. Be good at selling

    Learning how to sell is a complementary skill to good networking. You have to become more persuasive – not manipulative, just persuasive – to convince people to pay for your products/services and buy into your ideas.

    Almost every self-made millionaire or billionaire has mastered sales in one part of their lives. Look at Warren Buffet, Steve Jobs, even the Kardashians, all have a clue on what it takes to convince investors, build raving tribes, or generate enough buzz to make sure they stay under the spotlight for as long as possible.

    You have to get out of your way and join the masters. Of course, the process will be painful and you will face rejections (lots of them). When someone asked self-made billionaire John Paul DeJoria what sales tip was the closest to his heart, he said, ‘look for rejections.’  DeJoria understands that the biggest hurdle people face in almost any business is rejection. If you know this in advance and are mentally prepared for it, you’ll have a much easier time staying upbeat and eventually succeeding.

    “Frugality includes all the other virtues.” – Cicero

    4. Have enough money to invest

    When doing business, a good idea is as important as having enough cash flow to back it up. You can overcome almost every business hurdle if you have enough capital: advertising, getting mentored by experts or recruiting the best employees around…just to name a few.

    You will also need money to invest in other businesses and maximize your time. The simple reason why the rich get richer is that they have enough money to invest. That`s all. You need to do two things so you can make more money:

    • Save enough money each month to invest in your business (or other businesses). The amount you need to invest according to business consultant and bestselling author, Ramit Sethi, should be no less than 10 percent of your take-home pay (after taxes).
    • You have to work harder. Work harder and aim higher and you`ll subsequently have more money to invest

    So where to start? Begin by learning how to sell. I have seen people with no degree make tons of money just because they are good with people and understand the secrets to good persuasion. If you`re still young, I suggest you get a job in sales and learn under fire – even a part-time or summer job will do you good. If you can`t, however, then I suggest you pick three sales/persuasion books of your choice and study and implement everything in them everywhere you go. This will take time and practice, but you`ll eventually reap the reward.

    Originally Written by : Marwan Jamal
    Link to original article: click here

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    Witty Quotes To Fire Up Your Brain

    Ready to exercise that brain of yours?

    Great!

    Because it’s time to fire those neurons and get philosophical with these witty quotes…

    If you like a little humor and a good brain scratcher, then read on.

    We’ve got the world’s best compilation of witty quotes for you now…

    Witty Quotes
    “A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.”– Franklin D. Roosevelt
    “A grieving woman could sit alone on a jetty in the early morning. But not with a book in her hands.”– Pia Juul
    “A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors.”– Ljupka Cvetanova
    “A person is wise if he listens to millions of advice and doesn’t implement any of it.”– Michael Bassey Johnson
    “A person with a sharp tongue will eventually cut themselves.”– J. Robson Koenig
    “A skunk is better company than a person who prides himself on being ‘frank’.”– Robert Heinlein
    “A true friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else.”– Len Wein
    “A true friend overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!”– Doug Larson
    “A witty saying proves nothing.”– Voltaire
    “A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken string.”– George Dennison Prentice
    “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”– William James
    “Action will destroy your procrastination.”– Og Mandino
    “All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions.”– Adlai E. Stevenson
    “An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson
    “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”– Abraham Lincoln
    “Arguing with a fool proves there are two.”– Doris M. Smith
    “Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no fibs.”– Oliver Goldsmith
    “Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”– William Shakespeare
    “By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”– Robert Frost
    “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”– Confucius
    “Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.”– William Congreve
    “Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.”– Ralph Charell
    “Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson
    “Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.”– Howard Aiken
    “Dreams don’t work unless you do.”– John C. Maxwell
    “Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.”– Erma Bombeck
    “Every habit makes our hand more witty, and out wit more handy.”– Friedrich Nietzsche
    “Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.”– Criss Jami
    “Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.”– John Kenneth Galbraith
    “Fools learn from experience. Wise men learn from the experience of others.”– Otto von Bismarck
    “Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find a good one, you must one hundred try.”– Claude Mermet
    “Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.”– Thomas Alva Edison
    “He wasn’t aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn’t smile he didn’t look amiable.”– Emma Goldrick
    “He who wrestles with us, strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skills. Our antagonist is our helper.”– Edmund Burke
    “How you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win.”– Gilbert Keith Chesterton
    “I don’t let go of concepts –I meet them with understanding. Then they let go of me.”– Byron Katie
    “I not only use all the brains I have, but all that I can borrow.”– Woodrow Wilson
    “I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”– Abraham Maslow
    “I’m an angel. The horns are only there to hold up the halo.”– Suzanne Wrightt
    “I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s forward.”– David Livingstone
    “If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.”– Amit Kalantri
    “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”– Mark Twain
    “If you want to make enemies, try to change something.”– Woodrow Wilson
    “If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”– Woody Allen
    “Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals.”– Amit Kalantri
    “It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.”– George Washington
    “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”– Charles Darwin
    “It is not what you gather but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.”– Helen Walton
    “It is surprising what a man can do when he has to, and how little most men will do when they don’t have to.”– Walter Linn
    “It takes a long time to grow an old friend.”– John Leonard
    “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.”– Tom Robbins
    “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?”– Ronald Reagan
    “Knowledge is proud she knows so much; wisdom is humble that she knows no more.”– William Cowper
    “Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.”– Robert J. Sawyer
    “Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.”– George Bernard Shaw
    “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.”– Soren Kierkegaard
    “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”– Confucius
    “Maturity involves turning an insult into a feedback.”– Aniekee Tochukwu Ezekiel
    “Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.”– Benjamin Disraeli
    “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”– Will Rogers
    “Never try to have the last word. You might get it.”– Robert Heinlein
    “No-one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”– Eleanor Roosevelt
    “Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.”– William James
    “Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? Certainly. I’d know me anywhere.”– Terry Pratchett
    “One man’s theology is another man’s belly laugh.”– Robert Heinlein
    “One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.”– Rita Mae Brown
    “Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley’s very funny, very witty guy, very quick.”– Joe Rogan
    “Playing it safe is the riskiest choice we can ever make.”– Sarah Ban Breathnach
    “Pretending to care what men think is an art. It takes moments to learn, but lifetimes to master. I’d like to believe I’m an expert.”– Dennis Sharpe
    “Pride only helps us to be generous; it never makes us so, any more than vanity makes us witty.”– George Eliot
    “Rhetoric abounds in the cemeteries of reason.”– Miguel Queah
    “So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I’m a great multitasker.”– Holly Hood
    “Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.”– Kim Hubbard
    “The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.”– Robert Brault
    “The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.”– Wernher von Braun
    “The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.”– Abraham Lincoln
    “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.”– Richard P. Feynman
    “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make a mistake.”– Elbert Hubbard
    “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.”– Wayne Dyer
    “The important thing to remember is not to forget.”– Benny Bellamacina
    “The liar’s punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.”– George Bernard Shaw
    “The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man that can not read them.”– Mark Twain
    “The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it’s the same problem you had last year.”– John Foster Dulles
    “The only way to have a friend is to be one.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson
    “The problem human beings face is not that we aim too high and fail, but that we aim too low and succeed.”– Michelangelo
    “The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much.”– Josh Lanyon
    “The reward of a thing done well is to have done it.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson
    “The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.”– Bertrand Russell
    “There is an element of seduction in shoes that doesn’t exist for men. A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes.”– Christian Louboutin
    “There is never a better measure of what a person is than what he does when he’s absolutely free to choose.”– William M. Bulger
    “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done.”– Peter Drucker
    “They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we all have heard the saying, which is true as well as witty, That a camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.”– Allan Sherman
    “To be able to ask a question clearly is two-thirds of the way to getting it answered.”– John Ruskin
    “To die is poignantly bitter, but the idea of having to die without having lived is unbearable.”– Erich Fromm
    “To improve is to change. To be perfect is to change often.”– Winston Churchill
    “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”– Oscar Wilde
    “Want to know something really subversive? Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. It’s really worth fighting for — risking everything for. And the trouble is — if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”– Erica Jong
    “We all have times when we think more effectively, and times when we should not be thinking at all.”– Daniel Cohen
    “We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.”– Anais Nin
    “We tend to get what we expect.”– Norman Vincent Peale
    “Well, don’t expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.”– Suzanne Collins
    “What gets measured gets managed.”– Peter Drucker
    “When I die cremate me so I can finally fit into something small.”– Xondra Day
    “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”– Henry Ford
    “Writers don’t get mad they get even in their novels.”– Candace C. Bowen
    “You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.”– Henry Ford
    “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.”– Wayne Dyer
    “You know, you’re rather amusingly wrong.”– Terry Pratchett
    “You will never find time for anything. You must make it.”– Charles Buxton

    Link to original article: click here

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    5 HOBBIES THAT CAN MAKE YOU MONEY WHILST STUDYING

    We get it – you’re studying for your degree;

    And you’re dedicated and committed to graduating in your chosen field.

    You want to fly high in your discipline, and whether that’s business, fine art, sociology or literature – or anything in between – we do not doubt that you’ve got the skills and the focus to be able to achieve precisely that.

    However, there’s nothing wrong with harboring other passions, cultivating other skills, or maintaining other hobbies in the meantime.

    Not only are hobbies and activities great ways to make the most of your downtime or breaks between intense study sessions; but they’re also great ways to establish a ‘plan B,’ should your mind change. Or your long-term plans not work out the way you want to.

     

    5 Hobbies That Can Make You Money Whilst Studying

    Of course, the best types of hobbies are those who can make you a little extra cash on the side.

    Whether your hobby leads you to make some seriously big bucks or not is beside the point; anything that you enjoy, and has some financial reward involved, is never a bad thing to get into.

    What’s more, it may turn out that your beloved hobby ends up overtaking your degree regarding satisfaction and reward. Meaning you might even discover your true vocation by trying out one of these activities!

    Check out our top 5 hobbies that can make you money while you study below, and explore a whole world of money-making possibilities.

    1. Blogging / Writing

    If you enjoy writing and have the ability to turn a phrase, you’re in luck – the blogging industry is on fire right now.

    All over the world, business owners and website managers are on the lookout for bloggers who can produce quality, compelling, shareable content to bulk out their sites and boost their SEO.

    No matter what you like writing about, whether that’s okay wine, international travel, watches, toys, makeup or objective news. We’re confident that somewhere, someone is willing to pay for your work.

    Don’t believe us? Have a look at one of the many leading freelancer websites out there, and type your passion or interest into the search box.

    You’ll most likely find several calls for content or blogs on precisely that subject. So set up a profile, send off an introductory letter, and get writing! It can take a while to build up a portfolio of blogs or establish a readership, but once you have, you’ll see the dollars pouring in.

    Another popular trend for young professional writers or bloggers – tutoring and writing assistance.

    Some of essay writer services are looking up for talented and creative masters to help students overcome their academic hard times. Flexible schedule, online payments gives you freedom and ability to slide between your studying and job.

    1. Live Music
      Now that physical music sales of CDs etc. have died almost to the point of extinction, there is a higher call for live music than ever before, and make no mistake, there is some money to be made there.

    If you’re a performer or a musician, check out your local music venues and find out how much they pay for gigs. You might be paid a flat rate or a percentage of ticket sales depending on the site. And you don’t necessarily have to be at the top of your game to get involved.

    Lots of concerts need plenty of warm-up acts and unknown bands to fill out gaps on lineups, and it’s not that hard to get a space on stage.

    Furthermore, if you want to be involved in the live music scene but don’t have the talent to play an instrument or perform, why not work on the flip-side of the industry, and organize concerts and events for your favorite bands?

    It is often more lucrative than playing the music itself, and you get to see loads of live music concerts… for free!

    Related 25 Strategies to Help Your Online Business Thrive In 2017
    3. Get Crafty
    Nothing beats the thrill of being creative… except maybe having people pay you for your creativity! Whether you like to paint, make cupcakes, decorate furniture, sew clothes or weave bracelets. There will always be people out there willing to pay you for your efforts.

    You might not be able to become the next Damien Hirst overnight and charge millions for your creations. But there’s little doubt that some extra beer money can be made reasonably comfortable; so long as you’re willing to put the work into promoting your wares.

    Have a look online and find out if there are any craft markets or similar in your area where you might be able to sell your creations; or find a leading craft website where you can make a profile and show off your stuff.

    It’s fun, it’s rewarding, and it allows you to put more effort into a hobby you enjoy.

    1. Photography
      The world is full of photographs, and the internet demands new photos every minute of every day. Somebody’s got to snap those shots… so why can’t that person be you?

    If you’re nifty with a camera and don’t mind selling your artistic masterpieces online, there’s a high chance you can transform this favorite hobby into a lucrative little business.

    Your best bet is probably getting involved with a stock photo provider. You’d be amazed at how much money some photographers can make by selling their pictures to everyone from bloggers to news sites, web managers, advertisers, and a million others in between.

    Other student photographers try their hand at being amateur photojournalists, heading to newsworthy locations and trying to be the first on the scene with a photographic scoop to sell to the highest bidder!

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    1. Stock Investing
      If you’re a university student with a head for numbers and a keen eye for a deal; it might be worthwhile making a hobby of stock investing and playing the stock market.

    While this can be highly lucrative, there is – of course – some risk involved. So it’s best to start off small (and we mean very small) while you learn the ropes and the ins and outs.

    There are countless advice websites out there teaching you how to get into stock investing. It can be a rewarding and educational hobby; which will show you plenty about the world of finance and business. Make sure you play safe and don’t get carried away!

    Originally Written by : Dan Western
    Link to original article: click here

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    26 Awe-Inspiring William Shakespeare Quotes

     

    Possibly the greatest poet, dramatist, and writer in literary history, William Shakespeare is a national hero in England. Often called “The Bard of Avon”, he created works that have captured the hearts and minds of generations for more than four hundred years. His comedies, tragedies and historical dramas always capture the audience’s imagination. Many theater actors consider playing in Macbeth or Hamlet the highlights of their careers. This assortment of profound William Shakespeare quotes will show you his depth of understanding human beings.

    Aside from his work as a writer and actor, Shakespeare was, less famously,  also a businessman. Together with his partners and colleagues, he built a large theater, called The Globe in 1599, and made various investments in real estate throughout his life. With the time and money he earned from his business ventures, William Shakespeare was free to work on his plays and poems without distractions. Even though the high class of society in Elizabethan England usually looked down on theater, many nobles attended the plays and befriended the actors. This provided Shakespeare and his partners great opportunities to perform in front of prestigious audiences.

    His most famous works include Romeo and Juliet, Macbeth, Hamlet, The Merchant of Venice, Henry VI, Julius Caesar and A Midsummer Night’s Dream. William Shakespeare crafted most of his writings from 1589 to 1613, in the genres of historical drama, comedy, romance, and tragicomedy.

    Because we know very little about his personal life – mostly from his own works and church and court records, there are many questions about him. Many scholars dispute if Shakespeare even wrote his plays, while others claim he is a made-up figure or a pseudonym for the true writer.

    Regardless of the truth about his life, William Shakespeare managed to capture human conflicts and emotions with his timeless plays.

    To get a glimpse of the mind behind the great literature, take a close look at our selection of William Shakespeare quotes:

    26 Awe-Inspiring William Shakespeare Quotes

    1. “To be, or not to be, that is the question.” – William Shakespeare
    2. “You are a lover. Borrow Cupid’s wings and soar with them above a common bound.” – William Shakespeare
    3. “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” – William Shakespeare
    4. “Don’t waste your love on somebody who doesn’t value it.” – William Shakespeare
    5. “Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” – William Shakespeare
    6. “The course of true love never did run smooth.” – William Shakespeare Quotes
    7. “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” – William Shakespeare

    8. “There is no darkness but ignorance.” – William Shakespeare
    9. “The very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.” – William Shakespeare
    10. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” – William Shakespeare
    11. “A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.” – William Shakespeare
    12. “They do not love that do not show their love.” – William Shakespeare
    13. “If we are true to ourselves, we cannot be false to anyone.” – William Shakespeare

    14. “How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.” – William Shakespeare
    15. “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” – William Shakespeare
    16. “In time we hate that which we often fear.” – William Shakespeare Quotes
    17. “Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.” – William Shakespeare
    18. “God hath given you one face, and you make yourself another.” – William Shakespeare
    19. “No legacy is so rich as honesty.” – William Shakespeare
    20. “Be great in act, as you have been in thought.” – William Shakespeare

    21. “God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.” – William Shakespeare
    22. “Sit by my side, and let the world slip: we shall ne’er be younger.” – William Shakespeare
      See also: 20 Leo Tolstoy Quotes You Must Read
    23. “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” – William Shakespeare
    24. “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.” – William Shakespeare Quotes
    25. “We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” – William Shakespeare
    26. “I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.” – William Shakespeare

    Originally Written by : Georgi Lazarov
    Link to original article: click here

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    3 Science-Backed Ways to Improve Your Performance

    With each passing day, the bar for excellence grows higher. New innovations come, someone hungrier and more talented than you enters the market, and external conditions change all around you. What was good enough yesterday, no longer is today. Professional sports is a shining example of this phenomenon. It seems new world records are set left and right.

    If you want to succeed and maintain your level of success over the long term, you cannot get complacent with your current level of proficiency in a particular area. You’ve got to find a way to continue to grow, improve and evolve.

    Related: This Is the Secret Force Behind All High Performers​

    The good news is, there are a few strategies you can employ to help you improve your performance and achieve excellence. And they are backed by science. These approaches come from research by sociologist professor Daniel Chambliss. He studied athletes over a number of years to uncover what separated Olympic swimmers from others who invested similar amounts of time training and competing.

    1. Focus on technique.

    In The Mundanity of Excellence, where Chambliss published his findings, he noted a key factor that separated the good from the great was the way in which they executed similar tasks. Those at the top of their field had significantly better technique.

    Better technique comes from an intense focus on mastering the fundamentals. So much so, that excellence becomes a habit.

    To get started, focus on perfecting one small area of a task you are working toward improving. Once you’ve mastered it, choose another small but connected skill to practice deliberately.

    Let’s say your goal is to become a better public speaker. First, you might work on how to deliver engaging openings. After you get to a point you’re pleased with, you could move on to effectively using visuals, followed by working on your storytelling ability, and so on.

    The combined impact of mastering small individual elements will compound in time to help you perform at a higher level overall.

    2. Choose the right motivations.

    Many people’s reason for doing particular tasks is the big end result. That might be winning an award, landing a major client, getting a coveted promotion, or in the instance of Chambliss’ work, winning the Olympics.

    But top performers are fueled by smaller motivations. When you are playing the long game in terms of reaching a grander vision, at times, the length of time between mountaintop experiences is quite long.

    Thus, you’ve got to be motivated to show up day after day to put the work in so that you can find joy in smaller wins. These will fuel your commitment to doing the work in between the milestone moments.

    “Swimmers go to practice to see their friends, to exercise, to feel strong afterwards, to impress the coach, to work towards bettering a time they swam in the last meet,” Chambliss notes. “Sometimes, the older ones, with a longer view of the future, will aim towards a meet that is still several months away. But even given the longer-term goals, the daily satisfactions need to be there. The mundane social rewards are crucial.”

    These smaller motivations could be the feeling of euphoria you get after completing a workout, publishing a new article, interacting with beloved clients on a daily basis. It could even come from the joy that comes during the journey of doing your work.

    The little things will keep your spirits high and keep you going. Especially when the big wins are few and far between.

    3. Maintain mundanity as you work.

    No one wants to get their big break and then fall flat on their face. You work too hard for big opportunities to come your way to not be able to capitalize on them due to a lapse in performance.

    That means you’ve got to approach every task you are working to complete in the same manner, so you can produce predictable results no matter the circumstances. That may mean preparing for a speech in front of 10,000 people the same way you would a group of 10.

    This helps you focus your efforts on executing proper technique on the individual elements you worked so hard to master during your deliberate practice. It will help you produce optimal results.

    “Winners don’t choke,” Chambliss writes. “Faced with what seems to be a tremendous challenge or a strikingly unusual event such as the Olympic Games, the better athletes take it as a normal, manageable situation (‘It’s just another swim meet,’ is a phrase sometimes used by top swimmers at a major event such as the Games) and do what is necessary to deal with it. Standard rituals (such as the warmup, the psych, the visualization of the race, the taking off of sweats, and the like) are ways of importing one’s daily habits into the novel situation, to make it as normal as possible.”

    When you train your mind to focus on what you need to do to successfully complete the task at hand, you minimize any anxious emotions that can serve to throw you off your game at precisely the wrong time.

    It’s time for you to perform at a higher level.

    It isn’t about the amount of talent you have. Or even the level of success you’ve achieved in the past. In today’s world, continuous improvement is a requirement rather than an aspiration.

    So follow the proven approaches above to consistently step up your game, so you can perform at your best. Then you’ll be able to experience many more big wins. That success will come as a reward for your intentional effort.

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    45 Inspirational Quotes That The World Needs Right Now

    We are all a part of the human race and we must all protect and help each other. These inspirational quotes tell the people of the world what they need to hear. They range from positive changes to the key to living a harmonious life. The world can be a tough place, but it does not have to be.

    1. Laini Taylor Believes Peace is more than Non-Killing

     

    “Peace is more than the absence of war. Peace is accord. Harmony.” – Laini Taylor

    Many people think of peace as a time where there is no war, but peace and harmony are more than that. Peace is when there is no hate in the world. When people go about their own business and do not the worry about what other people are doing.

    2. Ahmed Deedat Believes Language is Important

    “Language is the key to the heart of people.” – Ahmed Deedat

    In times of war and times of distress, the most important aspect is language. We must control our tempers and choose our words wisely. Words carry a lot of weight and we want to be saying the right things in the most stressful of situations.

    3. Richard Nixon Compares Race to Music

    “If you want to make beautiful music, you must play the black and the white notes together.” – Richard Nixon

    To make beautiful music, you have to play all the chords. In relation to everyday life, to make the world a better place, you have to respect everyone, no matter what they look like. The color of our skin does not determine our fate on this earth. The color of our skin does not mean we are inferior or superior to another being.

    4. Scylar Tyberius Wants Everyone to be Loved

     

    “Don’t think for one minute that you are any less worthy of love and peace and harmony.” – Scylar Tyberius

    Never think that because of who you are or the way you look that you are less worthy of love and appreciation than somebody else. Everybody on this earth is given the opportunity for peace and never let that be taken away from you.

    5. Leni Riefenstahl Seeks Harmony

    “I am fascinated by what is beautiful, strong, healthy, what is living. I seek harmony.” – Leni Riefenstahl

    Leni’s fascination is what we should all be fascinated about; the good things in life. The beautiful people and art that we see every day, the strong mothers and fathers helping their children grow, the living organisms and animals without a care in the world. These are the things that are truly great about the world.

    6. Robert Fulghum Asks an Important Question

    “Is it always to be a winners-losers world, or can we keep everyone in the game?” – Robert Fulghum

    Is it always going to be which country came out on top, or what person was better than the other? Life is a constant game of winners and losers. Aiming to win is admirable and healthy, but it gets to a point where we are leaving others behind for our selfish behaviors.

    7. Suzy Kassem Believes in Sticking Together

    “To become a true global citizen, one must abandon all notions of ‘otherness.” – Suzy Kassem

    For the world to come together as one, we must include everyone in that scenario. We are all members of the human race and we should never refer to people as them or they. We are all in this together and the faster we realize that the sooner the world will become what we hope it can.

    8. Kamand Kojouri Wishes Love on Everyone

    “I wish for all of us the blindness of love that makes us see no faults in the other.” – Kamand Kojouri

    Love can be blinding and it can be blinding in a good way. Love lets us forget about the faults of the person and love them for who they are. If were able to love everyone like this, the world would be a better place. There would be less fighting and less arguments.

    9. Debasish Mrdiha Poses a Common Question

    “Why is there such madness in our world? Why can’t we stop it? Why do we hate others?” – Debasish Mrdiha

    Why is there such hate in the world? Questions like these are asked every single day. We watch the news and see what is going in our own country and around the world. I it hard to understand how people can do the things that they do. How can someone hate another person so much?

    10. Kamand Kojouri Believes We Need Two Things in the World

    “Two things are needed to raise awareness: education and love.” – Kamand Kojouri

    To raise awareness in the world, we need people who want to be aware. We must educate people so they can understand the words that are being printed and understand how the world works. We need love to prove that life can be filled with love as opposed to hate.

    11. Kamand Kojouri Believes Love Improves Lives

    “We all have the ability to make someone’s life better with our love.” – Kamand Kojouri

    We are all capable of giving and receiving love. We all have the ability to make somebody’s life easier by filling it with love. Love does not have to be a big gesture. It can simply be a compliment to someone who is feeling down or holding the door open for someone.

    12. Kamand Kojouri Believes Home is Wherever We are Accepted

    “Our homes travel with us. They are wherever we feel loved and accepted.” – Kamand Kojouri

    Our homes are not always the places where we grew up or the cities where we lived, They are the places where we are loved and accepted. Home is where we feel safe and are around people who look out for us and help us to grow as people.

    13. Kamand Kojouri Believes We must Accept Others

    “Let borders become sunlight so we traverse this Earth as one nation.” – Kamand Kojouri

    We must all stop separating ourselves into categories of nationalities and political parties. These ideologies separate us and cause us to only communicate and socialize with the ones who hold our same beliefs. We have to broaden our scope and accept everyone even if they are different.

    14. Lailah Akita Knows We Must Listen to Each Other

    “Understanding of each other is the beginning of peace.” – Lailah Akita

    Understanding each other and realizing what is in the best interest of the group instead of just ourselves is a path way to peace. Peace is never about the individual, peace is about everyone as a whole. We must stop thinking in terms of ‘”I” and start thinking in terms of “We”.

    15. Ron Barrow Stays Positive

    “Today is a beautiful day. Thank you! – Ron Barrow

    Ron Barrow does not have time for negativity, he just wants everyone to know that today is beautiful day. Today is another day for love and opportunity. If you didn’t accomplish what you wanted to yesterday, well today is a new day so go out there and do it!

    16. Debasish Mrdiha Compares Humans to Nature

     

    “Like nature, we must grow with tranquility, beauty, harmony, and love.” – Debasish Mrdiha

    We cannot grow with constant hate and battle. We can only grow through love and harmony. Positivity is a powerful thing and it goes a long way for people trying to better themselves. Staying positive and believing in other people is the path to growth.

    17. Suzy Kassem Believes in Standing Up

    “Stand up for what is right, regardless of who is committing the wrong.” – Suzy Kassem

    We all need to stand up for ourselves and do what is right in the face of evil. No matter who is committing the wrong, we have to stand up for what is right. The wrong-doers may be more powerful, but never underestimate the power of the people.

    18. H.P. Wood Understands We don’t Always Know Our Capabilities

    “Not one of us knows what we can do, until one fine day, we stand up and do it.” – H.P. Wood

    We really do not know what are capable of until we try something. Even a small group of people can accomplish something amazing through dedication and hard work. We will never what we can do until we try to do it.

    19. Suzy Kassem is a Strong Believer in Standing up for What is Right

    “Stand up for what is just against the unjust.” – Suzy Kassem

    There is no shame in doing what is right and there is no shame in standing up to people who are doing what is wrong. It may be scary and it may be hard, but it will be worth it because knowing you did the right thing is a feeling that is hard to ignore.

    20. Suzy Kassem Believes in Doing What’s Right Even if You are Alone

    “Stand up for what is right even if you are standing alone.” – Suzy Kassem

    There comes a time in everyone’s life where they have to make a decision to follow the pack or do what is right even if you are the only one. These situations have to be handled with decision making. Doing what is right is never the wrong answer and will always lead to better things.

    21. Ken Poirot Asks an Inspiring Question

    “If not me then who? Confront evil!” – Ken Poirot

    If you aren’t the one to stand up for what is right, then who will? This is an important question we have to ask when thinking that someone else will handle it. Can you live with yourself knowing that you did nothing when you could have stopped it?

    22. Suzy Kassem’s Leader is Herself

     

    “I stand only with Truth and my conscience is my only leader.” – Suzy Kassem

    The only aspect of the world you should look for is the truth. No matter what your beliefs you have to be able to understand the truth of every situation. People become too biased and are blind to what is really going on in the world. Being able to see the world from every person’s perspective is a skill that not many people have.

    23. Germany Kent Believes a Life is Remembered for Its Impact on Others’

    “If you’re not reaching back to help anyone then you’re not building a legacy.” – Germany Kent

    If you are only focusing on yourself and your life then are not building any type of legacy. Becoming successful is tough but nobody does it without helping other people. A life is only worth the impact it has on other lives so strive to make the people around you better.

    24. Criss Jami Advises to Rebel With a Purpose

     

    “Never rebel for the sake of rebelling, but always rebel for the sake of truth.” – Criss Jami

    Rebelling for the sake of rebelling will turn you into the boy who cried wolf. Nobody will listen to you in the future because you have become the person who is upset by everything. Only rebel for the truth in serious matters. Carefully planned rebellions go a longer way than many small, worthless rebellions.

    25. Lailah Akita Gives a Strong Quote

     

    “Stand up for yourself. Never give any one permission to abuse you.” – Lailah Akita

    Never let someone bring you down or abuse you. People’s thoughts can only affect you if you let them. Nobody can get inside your own head without your permission. Always stand up for yourself in times that feel unjust and always do what is right.

    26. Michael Bassey Johnson Advises to Get Creative for Your Future

     

    “Get out of your mind and become crazy about your future in a creative way!” – Michael Bassey Johnson

    Stop getting so hung up on what is happening right now in your life and start to prepare and look toward the future. The longer you wait to go for your dreams the longer it will take to accomplish them.

    27. Israelmore Ayivor Says Stand up at the Right Time

     

    “Stand up for what’s right for you when the time’s right.” – Israelmore Ayivor

    Sanding for what is right is always the right thing to do, but there is a time and a place in which to do so. We cannot let our emotions get the best of us to the point of blowing our chances of making a real change. We have to plan when and how we are going to stand up for what is right and be prepared.

    28. Philip Dick Understands Reality Never Ends

     

    “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” – Philip Dick

    Many people wish that they could take a break from reality. but it is not going anywhere. People try to escape reality by secluding themselves, but all this does is delay the inevitable. Reality will always be here and we have to learn to face it.

    29. Diana Jones Has a Realization

     

    “‘This can’t happen in this day and age’, they say it because it is happening.” – Diana Jones

    Whenever people say that something can’t happen in this day in age, they are saying it because it is happening. This has been a common phrase over the last year and we realize that some things that are happening should not be happening in 2016.

    30. Leo Tolstoy Believes Change Must Happen Within

     

    “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” – Leo Tolstoy

    To change the world, we must first change ourselves. Changing the world does not happen without the people who inhabit it changing themselves. We all have to change the way we think and the way he handle ourselves. Changing the world starts with being a better person to the people around you.

    31. Nelson Mandela Values Education

     

    “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” – Nelson Mandela

    As much as education is valued, there is even more value in education than we believe. Education is not just schooling, education is learning on your own. The smartest and most knowledgeable people in the world are the ones who learn on their own and form their own opinions instead of always listening to teachers.

    32. Albert Einstein Knows our Thoughts Create Our Lives

     

    “The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking.” – Albert Einstein

    The world that we live in has been create through the thoughts of people. Thoughts create religion, war and hate. Thoughts also create togetherness and love. To change the world around us we must be prepared to change our thoughts.

    33. Albert Einstein Elaborates

     

    ” The world cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” – Albert Einstein

    The world cannot be changed unless we change the way we think about the world. Wishing and hoping for the world to change will not have any impact, we must work together to end all of the hatred and all of the prejudice that is present in the world.

    34. Rumi Understands How Change Will Happen

     

    ” Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi

    We are naive to think that we can change the world just by wanting to. Learning to change yourself is the first step to changing the world. Ourselves are not enough though, we must help other people grow and educate them to make the world better.

    35. Barack Obama Understands it is up to the Individual

     

    ” Change will not come if we wait for some other person.” – Barack Obama

    Never assume that someone else will do something. Barack Obama never assumed this and that is why he decided to run for president. He wanted the world to change and he started with himself. He took charge of what he could and dedicated his life to make the world better.

    36. Taylor Swift Has Hope

     

    “This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.” – Taylor Swift

    Taylor Swift is known for her upbeat character and overall positive attitude. A new beginning is hope for the future. It is telling us that we have another chance to do what we want or make amends. Tomorrow is a new day and next year is a new year. Forget about the past and work toward the future.

    37. George Shaw Speaks the Truth about Mind Changing

     

    “Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” – George Shaw

    The people who are unable to change their minds and hold their beliefs so dear to their hearts will never be able to change anything. It is good to stay true to your beliefs, but you also have to understand reason. If your belief is hurting people, then you must be able to change.

    38. Libba Bray Understands Change is Slow

     

    “And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time.” – Libba Bay

    Change does not happen overnight. Change happens from years of progressive behavior and understanding. Change starts with one person changing their attitudes and infecting other people. In turn, those people change for the better and infect that onto other people. The cycle continues slowly but surely.

    39. Wayne Dyer Believes We Must Change Our Perceptions

     

    “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

    We must learn to change the way we view things and the way we view people. If we can change the way we view, then the things and the people we look at will begin to change. We will not see the hate or differences we once saw, we will just see what there is to see.

    40. Rick Warren Knows We Can’t Resolve the Past

     

    ” We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” – Rick Warren

    We will always be attached to our pasts and the things we did. However, we do not have to be known for it. We can create a better future and legacy for ourselves. Our past is there to be remembered and learned from but it does not have to represent us.

    41. Veronica Roth Relates Change to Medical Issues

     

    ” Change, like healing, takes time.” – Veronica Roth

    Change happens slowly. When you fall down and cut yourself, you have that wound for a little while. It slowly heals until it is completely normal again. Change can be like that too. It will be different at first, but after a while you will get used to it and everything will be normal.

    42. Milton Berle Creates Opportunity

     

    “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” – Milton Berle

    Milton Berle Knows that opportunity will not come if you just sit around waiting for it to knock on your door. He takes matters into his own hands. He may not even have a door for opportunity to knock at, so he will build one to give it no choice.

    43. Leo Tolstoy Enjoys Small Changes

     

    “True life is lived when tiny changes occur.” – Leo Tolstoy

    Change is supposed to be gradual and small. Any major change takes some serious getting used to and may not even work out. Changes to life and changes to the world need to be made in small doses or else people will not know how to handle themselves.

    44. Martin Luther Believes Writing is Key

     

    “If you want to change the world, pick up your pen and write.” – Martin Luther

    If you want to change the world, then tell the whole world about your circumstances. Sometimes people do not know about the challenges of the world and it is hard to have a voice. Write down your story and try to tell it to as many people as possible.

    45. William James Believe Actions Make a Difference

     

    “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” – William James

    Act as if everything you do makes a major difference in the world, because deep down, it does. Every action has an effect on you and the people around you. Even the smallest daily actions can have a profound effect that you may not even think was possible.

    Link to original article: click here

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    3 Qualities to Look For in a True Friend

    One of my best friends just had a bad month. A really bad month.

    He lives across the country but decided to fly to Boston to see some family and close friends, myself included. He needed to get away and seek the support of the people who care about him.

    We spent a great couple of days together last week. Then unexpectedly, he texted me Tuesday morning asking if I wanted to hang out once more before he left.

    I’ve been behind lately on some work stuff, specifically an idea for an article for this week. With my retreat on the horizon, some site changes in the works, and my first time mentoring someone to be a coach — I’ve got a lot on my plate.

    Inviting my friend over would potentially mean not posting for over two weeks. I haven’t done that in maybe…ever. And in the end, it directly impacts my bottom line.

    But saying no to him never even crossed my mind. This is someone I love like a brother. He’s always been there for me and I would do anything for him.

    He is a true friend. So I invited him over.

    (Coincidentally, hanging out with him inspired this article!)

    As my wife and I talked with him, he spoke about how lucky he was to have amazing friends through these tough times. This got us talking about how true friendship is critical to long-term happiness. And also how rare those type of friendships are.

    Most of us have only a few people we’d consider at that level, and many we’d consider acquaintances or casual friends. Some of us don’t any of these kinds of friends at all.

    That’s because to consider someone a true friend, they have to have some very specific qualities. We are critical of the people we let get that close to us.

    Eventually, our conversation led us to try and answer, “What should you look for in a true friend?” Here’s what we came up with.

    They can they be vulnerable with you

    There are so many awesome reasons for friendship…

    You get to laugh with your friends and let loose from the daily stresses of life. You can go out with them and meet other people. You get to pursue your hobbies with someone by your side. You can take trips, go on adventures, and create unforgettable stories together.

    What makes a friend a close friend, though, is their ability to have real, meaningful conversations with you.

    This means that when you open up about something personal, they relate back with some depth. They don’t just keep things surface level or try to change the subject because it’s uncomfortable.

    In turn, they open up to you when they’re hurting or need someone to talk to. They’re not concerned with maintaining a facade of always being fine and unfazed by life.

    A close friend should be able to share their true feelings with you. They should be able to reveal their own struggles and insecurities at times. They should be willing to engage in hard conversations to support you and grow together.

    Strong connections stem from vulnerability. When someone is willing to be seen and judged, we know they have “skin” in the relationship. This allows us to see their true character and begin to trust them on a deeper level.

    Finding these close friends are worth it because when you face the inevitable hardships of life, you’ll want someone who can make you feel understood…and also make a well-timed dick joke.

    They proactively show they care about you

    Maintaining any substantial relationship is hard work.

    The only way things thrive is when both people continue to invest in one another.

    True friends understand this and because they value your relationship, they make time to see you. Or, at the very least, they reach out you periodically just to see how things are.

    They send you something funny just to brighten your day. They check-in to make sure you’re okay and see if there’s anything they can do. They miss you and put in the effort to reconnect.

    I know that we’re all busy, but there have never been more ways to reach out and connect with people. Most of my closest friends live out of state, but we make a conscious effort to text and call each other regularly. And when we can, we plan trips to meet up in-person.

    A true friend also wants you to be happy. They don’t put you down, use you, or try to sabotage you. They’d never cockblock you for a random woman or treat you differently in front of people they admire.

    I think the most obvious sign of a caring, close friend is…they actually take interest in you.

    They listen when you talk. They aren’t waiting for you to finish so they can get the attention back on them. They don’t try to show you up with a better story when you share yours.

    And most importantly, they actually ask YOU questions. They’re curious about yourworld and your perspective. It seems so simple, yet it’s so incredibly sad how rare this is.

    I’ve had hour-long conversations with people I’m genuinely interested in getting to know better. I’ve asked them all about themselves and they basically shared their life story. But at no point did they ever have the self-awareness or actual interest in asking questions to learn more about me.

    Those situations are when I realize they might be a cool person to hang out with, but they’re not best friend material.

    They show up for you, especially when it’s hard

    It’s not difficult to get your buddy to show up at your party. Or to come play video games with you. Or to go on that weekend hiking trip with all the guys.

    Getting a friend to hang out for good times is easy.

    Getting a friend to show up for significant moments in your life is much harder. The times when you’re suffering or could really use some help will challenge their loyalty.

    A true friend has to make sacrifices to support you. They will have to give up their time and energy and as we talked about earlier — be vulnerable with you. They’ll have to endure hard conversations and may even have to take care of you.

    I invested many years in a friend of mine and was there for him when his father passed away. When I invited him to my wedding 9 months in advance, he told me a couple weeks before the wedding he couldn’t come because he had already planned a vacation.

    I’ve processed it and I don’t hold any hard feelings. I just understand better now where his priorities lie and the nature of our friendship today.

    Close friends know the value of strengthening your relationship. They are willing to compromise and be there for you, because they know you’d do the same for them.

    That’s the loyalty of a true friend.

    Maybe it’s because I’m from Boston, but Robin Williams’ quote in Good Will Hunting has always stood out to me…

    “Why does he hang out with those retarded gorillas, as you called them? Because any one of them, if he asked them to, would take a fucking bat to your head, okay? It’s called loyalty.”

    In the movie, all four friends fight and rag on each other. Their opinions and beliefs clash at times. They have different levels of intellect and different interests. But they care and respect each other so deeply that none of that matters.

    They don’t abandon one another because of some tension or disagreements. They accept each other’s differences and stick together. Their close friends aren’t just friends, they’re family.

    True friendships may be hard to come by. But you can start finding and strengthening your existing ones right now.

    You just have to stop waiting around for everyone else.

    Embrace these qualities and lead with them yourself. It will nudge your true friends to reveal themselves and return the same.

    Originally Written by : Nick Notas
    Link to original article: click here

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    The Relationship Effect: Why Couples Stop Having Sex

    It is commonly said that when you’ve been in a relationship for awhile, the sex becomes… well…absent. But the reason why why couples stop having sex is actually an easy problem to solve. Allow me to explain…

    My ex-boyfriend Mark and I started out like rabbits.

    We had sex every single day. Literally. He was just so damn good at being romantic…

    The aggressive, sexual ass slaps. The massages. The random candle-lit dinners when I came home from work. The dirty talk, flirting, and foreplay. They all created an insatiable appetite to have sex with the man.

    But after a couple months, things started to change…

    Mark became lazy. I would come home after working my ass off all day to a dirty house and more work to do.

    Make dinner? Check.

    Take the dog out? Check.

    Clean the nose hair trimmings off the bathroom sink (btw ew)…? Check.

    And while I continued working my ass off to do all these things, AFTER my 9-5 job (really more like 9-7), guess what Mark was doing…?

    Sitting on the couch, watching football or playing video games.

    It was absolutely annoying.

    But it got worse: on top of being just lazy in general, Mark started getting lazy in the bedroom, too. Sex became robotic. Consistent. Expected. I knew when Mark wanted to have sex, he would do one of two things:

    Option #1 – Say, “Hey, let’s do it,” then start taking off his clothes.
    Option #2 – Roll over in bed, kiss me for ONE minute, then quickly undress me and slip it in.

    And after just a few months of this scheduled, passionless, boring sex… Mark and I went from f*cking like rabbits, to abstaining like Catholics.

    (I know, it almost rhymed… but not quite)

    You get the point.

    I was bored. I was exhausted. And to be honest, the person who was supposed to bring joy into my life was actually the person who was tiring me out the most — Mark. 

    What bothered me MOST was the fact that he stopped putting effort into the relationship altogether. I was doing all the work, and receiving no romance in return. So I did what I had to do: I broke up with him.

    There can be a lot of reasons two people lose the passion and stop having sex. But in my experience, I have come to find that the main factor is how much “work” both people put into the relationship.

    You can define “work” a number of ways — but relationship work boils down to one thing: what you do to show someone you love them.

    Depending on the kind of person you or your partner are, that work might be doing favors for one another. It might be physical touching. Giving gifts. Dedicating time to each other. It might even be as simple as reaffirming them with your words.

    Either way, once you identify what kind of ‘work’ your relationship benefits from the most (there’s an awesome little survey to find this out), keeping the spark alive becomes easy. Personally, I value someone who does little favors for me the most. Coming home and finding out that my man picked up my dry cleaning or took my car in to get an oil is one of the sweetest, most romantic gestures he could do. The more he does small things here and there for me, the more I want to jump on him the moment he comes in the door.

    That’s probably why my desire to have sex has remained consistent — in a good way — with my current boyfriend. A year later, and he’s STILL doing little things here and there for me whenever he can. He’s also super romantic physically. In return, he gets lots of ‘lip service’ and sex.

    Here’s the thing: relationships require work from both ends — meaning your girlfriend should be putting in the same amount of effort as you do. But a little work can go a long way. So don’t throw in the towel too early — keep up with the effort, and you’ll be rewarded.

    Link to original article: click here

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