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  • in MENTORS

    5 Ways to Beat Procrastination and Change the World

    471 Views

    Beating procrastination is the difference between leading an unproductive life and changing the world.

    If you find yourself consistently putting important tasks off, being late for every meeting or appointment, in addition to being unable to get yourself organized. You probably already know that you are a serious procrastinator.

    This limiting habit – limiting because it’s the barrier between achieving little and making an impact on the world – is common in every single human being. Nevertheless, the highest performing individuals have been able to overcome this mental obstacle by following a few simple tips, which we will describe below.

    So, avoid wasting time and put these into practice straight away.

    Focus On One Thing At A Time – Beat Procrastination

    One of the essential tricks to beating procrastination is focusing on one task at a time. We often think about everything we have to do by a given time. This makes us feel overwhelmed and we don’t know where to start.

    Start by choosing the most important task you’ve been procrastinating and commit to completing it as soon as possible. Organise yourself by writing down and prioritizing tasks. Get your ‘big ticket’ items completed early on in the day when your mind is still fresh and the rest of the day will come a lot easier.

    Have The Goal Vision In Hand – Beat Procrastination

    When you find yourself delaying actions or activities, remind yourself why you started. Your goal could be career development, financial freedom or even changing the world.

    Whatever your objective in life is, make sure to have it in mind at all times. You can either write your goals in a journal that you review every morning upon waking, or if you find this a difficult thing to do, try hanging a few motivational quotes or images around the house or even have them rotate as a your desktop background (my personal favourite).

    Apply The 5 Second Rule – Beat Procrastination

    Mel Robbins, a renowned motivational and keynote speaker. Has shared how how the 5 Second Rule changed her life from the first day she applied it.

    By now, you are probably wondering what is this rule and how do I apply it myself?

    Well, it’s simple. Every time you are faced with a task you need to complete. Start counting down from 5 to 1. By doing this, our body will start moving before our brain kicks in and derails us from our goals.

    In order to better understand the concept. Think back to times you had a tight deadline (delivering a project on the same day, catch the bus etc.) At points like these, our brain isn’t getting side-tracked because our body moves to meet our needs within a specific time constraint.

    Put On Your ‘Uniform’ – Beat Procrastination

    Have you ever considered as to why when we are at work we are more productive, but when it comes to completing tasks of our own it’s not the same?

    In the first example, we are obligated to act in a specific manner which will in turn translate to a salary or some kind of compensation. At the same time, what this entails is the fact that we are mentally prepared to do what we are asked of even before starting it. Wearing that suit or uniform empowers the whole act and it subconsciously reminds us that delaying or saying no is not an option.

    In the later example though, the events may not unfold in a similar way. We have the option of turning to our comfort zone and procrastinating activities that may be important. So, optimise your workspace, set aside things that may distract you and find that ‘uniform’ mentality that will keep you focused and productive.

    Take Time To Chill And Unwind – Beat Procrastination

    Ideally, we will all have tasted a glimpse of efficient task completion by now through commitment and hard work. However, working non-stop can sometimes prove to be counter-productive or even unhealthy.

    After an effective day of getting closer to your dreams, take a step back and relax. Practice meditation, watch a movie or even spend some time with family. All activities of recreational nature, self-reflection and strengthening of personal relationships will help your mind take a break, recharge and start again even stronger.

    Independent of what route you choose to follow in life. Rest and proper recovery are essential to perform at your best. So take your breaks, recovery and sleeping pattern as seriously as you would plan your work day and you will see a great increase in productivity.

     

    Originally Written by : Marios Kokolakis
    Link to original article: click here

  • in RELATIONSHIP

    Stop Making Excuses For Your Abusive Girlfriend

    455 Views

     

     

    I’ve been helping guys with their relationship woes for a long time.

    It may surprise you, but the number of men I’ve talked to that have been in abusive relationships is staggering.

    Abuse is defined as: “treating (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.”

    Sadly, I’ve heard men make every excuse possible to justify their abusive relationships. They use any means necessary to downplay how much their partner mistreats them. They believe, as men, they’re supposed to just suck it up and not be wimps.

    Often, they deny they’re in an abusive relationship altogether. They say their partner doesn’t hurt them physically so therefore it can’t be abusive.

    If your partner regularly insults you, humiliates you, puts you down, controls your life, emotionally manipulates you, gaslights you, threatens you, stonewalls you, shames you, lies to you, or cheats on you…

    You might be in an abusive relationship.

    Women aren’t the only victims

    I’m so grateful for all the progress we’re making against sexual harassment, assault, and rape against women. These criminals in high positions needed to be taken down. And it’s clear many women’s accusations have been ignored for too long.

    But in the midst of all this, I feel like the younger generation is instilling a fear of men. Guys are being painted as degenerate monsters waiting to prey on their next female victim.

    Almost no one talks about the men who get abused by women in relationships. A female perpetrator seems ridiculous because this abuse is often emotional and gets overlooked because it can be more subtle.

    Abuse does not have to be obvious. Let me tell you about my client John…

    John had it all. He had great friends, a six-figure job, an athletic build, and a killer sense of style.

    He met a girl online who was tall, fit, and stunning. She used to be a model. Her Facebook showcased a vibrant girl who always had a big smile and a bigger sense of adventure.

    It seemed like a perfect match.

    On the outside, she was everything most guys’ drool over. In reality, she was a nightmare of a person.

    Soon into their relationship, she started mistreating him.

    She’d act hot and cold. She’d have a great time with him one day, then blow him off multiple times with no warning. She’d ignore him for days and then reach back out like nothing happened.

    She started expecting him to pay for every dinner. If he didn’t, she’d guilt trip him or act upset. Then she expected him to take her shopping and to concerts while paying for all of it.

    In return for her attention, she demanded lavish vacations that cost thousands of dollars. When he tried to refuse and reason with her, she denied him sex and threatened to leave him for someone who treated her better.

    During all of their expensive outings, she’d ask him to take pictures of her for Facebook of JUST her. Throughout their entire “relationship”, she never shared one picture of them together nor implied she had a boyfriend publicly. (And like I said, it’s not like he wasn’t an attractive guy!)

    She lied constantly…about everything. If he ever tried to talk to her about it, she would make him out to be the villain. She canceled on plans and would mysteriously go MIA.

    Then one day he saw a flash on her phone while they were in bed together on vacation. She was sexting a guy, talking about how she couldn’t wait to get drunk and ride him.

    I begged him to leave her. All his friends did the same. He endured this abuse for a long time, even after they had a fight and she publicly humiliated him on social media.

    Eventually, he ended up checking into a mental health clinic for a weekend for his depression and because his friends were afraid he might harm himself.

    Luckily, things have now ended between them. But he stayed in a toxic relationship for WAY too long simply because he was attracted to her and wanted companionship.

    Enough excuses already

    When you’re being mistreated, your partner does NOT respect you…and respect is the necessary foundation for every successful relationship. Without it, you will never have a healthy connection. Your self-worth will be slowly destroyed and you’ll never receive the love that fulfills you.

    Remember, abuse can even be more subtle than the story above. Think of the way your current partner treats you. If your best friend or family member came to you in the same situation, what would you want for them? If you’d recommend they get help or get out…

    Then you need to take action.

    But I know there’s someone out there reading this that’s still in denial. So let’s talk about all the possible reasons for you to stay and you’ll see that…

    You’ll never convince me you should stay in an abusive relationship with a woman. There’s just no excuse and trust me, I’ve heard them all…

    “But I’m getting laid and the sex is good.”

    While sex and intimacy are important in a relationship, it’s just one part of a whole connection. There has to be more. Otherwise, you’re just wasting your life and subconsciously devaluing yourself.

    Why not find someone who will fuck you and that you actually love being with?

    Because if you don’t, you’re enduring pain and misery just to get laid. You might as well just slot in any other attractive women.

    At that point, just hire an escort instead. Or if you can’t afford that, use a sugar daddy website and find young women who will sleep you for a cheap dinner. (Yes, that’s a real thing and also quite sad in many ways.)

    “My parents/friends like her a lot.”

    The people who love you should want your happiness to be priority #1. Therefore, they should want you to be with someone who treats you well.

    If you told them how your partner really treats you, would they still want you to be together?

    Regardless, those people don’t have to live with or potentially spend a life with your partner. You do. They’ll only get to experience the good parts while you’ll be the one suffering in the bigger picture.

    “We have a history together.”

    I get it, you don’t want to feel like everything you had was all for nothing. You think that if you walk away from the relationship, you’re throwing away months or years of your life.

    This is called the sunken cost fallacy. The more we invest in something, the more we feel like we can’t give it up or else we’ll lose all that value.

    But that value doesn’t disappear. The good times you shared, things you learned, and experiences you had will still be with you. And in fact, when you pursue healthier relationships, you’ll get even more value out of them.

    Staying with someone because it’s comfortable and familiar is not a strong enough reason.

    “She’ll change / I can help her change.”

    Yeah, maybe she’ll change. But maybe she won’t. And there’s a couple things you need to consider…

    If she’s got deep-seated issues about how to treat other people, that often requires a significant amount of personal growth. It’s not something that usually happens overnight. She’ll need a lot introspection, reflection, and potentially even professional help.

    You also can’t get someone to change until they’re ready to.

    You’ll only frustrate yourself and build further resentment towards her. And you’ll continue to take the abuse during the whole process.

    So if she wants to change, she has to be able to do that independently of you. Staying with her and allowing the abuse will only enable her.

    If you really want her to change, she has to really feel what she’s doing to you. She has to experience the consequences of her actions. And she has to realize that she’ll destroy her relationships if she continues with her behavior.

    “She apologizes to me and tells me she wants to get better.”

    While getting an apology is great, it only means something when it’s tied to real change. If your partner continues to mistreat you and replicate the same actions, that apology is worthless. Anyone can say “sorry” to placate someone for the time being.

    This is also the go-to behavior for a lot of abusers. They mistreat those around them and use apologies or external means (gifts, dinners) to “make it up” to the person.

    This solves the issue for the moment until they next time they lash out. They then repeat the cycle of abuse and it often just continues to get worse.

    “I was single for so long before” or “This is my first relationship.”

    So that doesn’t mean you’re destined to be alone again. You being single has to deal with a lack of action, skill, or experience. Those are all things that can be learned.

    We all yearn for human connection. If you find ways to put yourself out there and take small steps, you will connect with other women. It’s inevitable.

    “She’s the hottest girl I’ve ever been with.”

    This, again, comes from the belief that there are a lack of attractive women in the world or that you’re not going to connect with them.

    Beauty is common. Go out to any area with a good amount of young people: city centers, malls, parks, etc. If you were to walk around for an hour, I guarantee you would see dozens of women you find attractive.

    Secondly, if you’ve already attracted a woman you found beautiful, you can do it again. This wasn’t a one-time miracle. You likely took an opportunity with her and it worked out. That means it’s only a matter of learning to be more proactive in talking to women you desire.

    “I’ll never find someone like her.”

    You won’t find someone who treats you like shit? Honestly, that’s not difficult.

    But on a serious note, you’re idealizing this person because of the way you feel about her. You’re overlooking all the negative, deal-breaking aspects of the relationship.

    There are over seven billion people on this planet. You think you found the single person you’re be attracted and connected to? That’s insanely improbable.

    While it’s true you won’t find someone EXACTLY like them, that’s also a good thing. You’ll find someone better that you’re even more excited about.

    “The heart wants what it wants. I can’t help how I feel.”

    That’s true, but the heart is not the end-all be-all authority in your life. It’s rash, often blinded by feelings, and can make really stupid choices. That’s why we have a logical brain to balance things out and keep us in check.

    Your heart is enamored now. But when you continue to get mistreated, I guarantee it’ll become flooded with other, more negative emotions. The rose-colored glasses will wear off when an abusive partner is making you feel isolated, ugly, or worthless.

    “If I was a better / more attractive partner, she wouldn’t do this.”

    That’s complete bullshit because you don’t respect yourself. Even if you have things to work on (which we all do), that doesn’t suddenly make a good-natured person turn into an asshole.

    The simplest way to see this is bullshit is to put yourself in her position.

    When you see someone who also struggles with self-esteem or is awkward, do you want to treat them like they’re less than you? Of course not.

    Or even imagine someone you care about in a similar situation. Would you ever justify their partner abusing them? Would you ever feel like they deserve it just because of their personality?

    Hell no! So there’s absolutely no reason to think this acceptable for you.

    Change is necessary

    Ideally, you should try your best to avoid abusive relationships in the first place. Because many unhealthy relationships and broken marriages begin by pursuing the wrong people.

    This is due to low self-worth and believing that there aren’t an abundance of great people who will treat you with respect.

    You need to change that. You need to see firsthand those beliefs aren’t true by working to overcome your fear of meeting and connecting with new people.

    Unfortunately, if you’re already in an abusive relationship — you also need to change.

    I’m not saying it’s easy or you should act rashly. You should take precautions to protect yourself and loved ones. So either you need to…

    • Address the issues with your partner. You need to tell your partner this isn’t unacceptable and things need to change immediately. We’re talking weeks for them to stop the abuse and seek professional help if need be. You do NOT wait for years for things to change.
    • Cut ties if you’ve tried to fix things already or your physical/mental health is in jeopardy. Talk to someone you trust like family or friends about the situation. Or start seeking professional help through domestic abuse services or a therapist. You may even have to go to the authorities.

    Those are your options. The answer will never be to continue this cycle of pain.

     

    Originally Written by : Nick Notas
    Link to original article: click here

  • in MOTIVATION

    Intermittent Fasting Can Change Your Life – One of the Best Life Hacks!

    473 Views

    Intermittent fasting is a recent diet trend that is here to stay. Unlike Paleo, low carb or the keto diet, intermittent fasting every day has tons of benefits for your health and even your mind.

    One of the reasons intermittent fasting is so effective is because there is simply less time of the day to eat. With intermittent fasting, you only eat 6-8 hours while most people do the opposite by eating 16-18 hours per day.

    Fasting is one of the most ancient healing traditions in human history which has been practiced by virtually every culture and religion on earth.

    I’ve been practicing intermittent fasting since the beginning of 2018 and couldn’t be happier with the results.

    Here are five ways intermittent fasting can help your mind just as much as your body.

    1. Increased Discipline

    As,l Jocko Willink said, “Discipline equals freedom.” In any area of life, how disciplined you are, determine how successful you will become.

    When you stick to intermittent fasting on a regular basis you are being disciplined by not eating when everyone else is. Some people will scoff when you tell them your plan but it doesn’t matter. As long as you know what you are trying to achieve that’s all that matters.

    This discipline to stick to eating during specific hours has poured into my business and fitness routines. Discipline is contagious and fasting can help add some to your life!

    Here’s Kerwin Rae talking about how fasting is one of the top 2 life hacks he knows:

     

    2. Better Brain  

    Once you get past the first few days of your body adjusting to the new eating schedule you will feel more focused, positive, and optimistic than ever before.

    A study from the Society for Neuroscience in 2015, revealed that intermittent fasting offers “enormous implications for brain health.” According to the study, IF stimulates the brain in a number of different ways including the growth of neurons, recovery from brain injuries and enhanced memory performance.

    There is also evidence to show that intermittent fasting might actually improve both cognitive function and quality of life for people living with those conditions already.

    3. Health = Wealth

    Unfortunately, people spend too much time on wealth while forgetting about their health during the process. But if you want to be truly successful you have to look out for your health.

    Intermittent fasting is a commitment to your mind and body.

    4. Improves Spiritual Well Being

    Fasting has been practiced throughout history by almost every religion in the world. IF can lead to increase spirituality and I’ve found to have more clarity, peace, and focus during fasting times.

    Studies have also shown that fasting can help regulate your mood by reducing stress and anxiety. To me, intermittent fasting can lead to feeling more connected with yourself. This can lead to a more positive outlook on how you see the world.

    5. Trust Yourself

    How can fasting help increase your confidence?

    By making a promise you keep to yourself. Intermittent fasting is a big commitment if you’ve been eating the opposite your whole life but once you switch it becomes second nature.

    This commitment, day in and day out, will instill confidence and self respect in yourself.

    More confidence equals higher self-esteem and the ability to reach your goals quicker.

    Are you ready to try intermittent fasting?

    While it may seem like a daunting challenge, fasting is more than doable. Not only can you lose fat and have more energy but you can also gain more clarity on a daily basis.

    Whether you can practice intermittent fasting every day or only on certain days, the benefits are endless.

    This clarity can lead to more focus, confidence, and ability to push through the hard times to achieve your goals.

     

    Originally Written by : Michael Leonard
    Link to original article: click here

  • in MENTORS

    7 Ways That Thinking About Death Can Improve Your Life

    467 Views

    http://voiceseducation.org/sites/default/files/images/carlsaganexistence.jpg

    Thinking about death can motivate us to live a life true to ourselves.

    In a commencement speech to the Stanford graduating class of 2005, Steve Jobs shared a lifetime of hard-earned wisdom.

    This was a contemplative version of Steve Jobs as he reflected on life and death, just a year after his first brush with the cancer that would eventually take his life in 2011. He tells 3 powerful stories, but this quote, in particular, has always stood out to me:

    “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.”

    I’ve always found value in contemplating my own mortality as a way to encourage myself to leave my comfort zone and go after ambitious goals.

    Here are 7 ways I think contemplating your own mortality can help you do the same.

    How Thinking About Death Can Improve Your Life

    1. It puts your true priorities into focus

    “For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
    -Steve Jobs

    There’s no better way to bring priorities into focus than to think about your deathbed regrets.

    In 2012, a palliative care nurse wrote a book called “The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying”, cataloging her experiences spending years taking care of the terminally ill during the last 3-12 weeks of their lives.

    Through talking to hundreds of terminally ill patients, she found that the most common deathbed regret was the following:

    “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

    How many of us make decisions not based on what we truly want, but on what others expect of us? How many of us even make major life choices – what school we attend, what career we choose, whom we marry, whether we rent or buy a house – simply because of other people’s expectations?

    I’m not judging, because I do it myself all the time. Yet, when staring in the face of death, what will we think about? Will we think about how great it was that we met everyone else’ expectations? Or will we regret that we left behind a trail of unfilled hopes and dreams because we were scared of what others might think?

    2. It pulls you out of your mental rut

    Most of us are in a mental rut we’re not even aware of. We go about our daily routine, maybe commuting to work, maybe walking into Starbucks to grab a coffee – and we never stop to contemplate the true nature of our existence.

    Whether or not you believe we were placed here by a higher being, think about the fact that we’re walking around on the side of a big ball of dirt that has been racing around a giant fireball for 4.5 billion years. Our ball of dirt is just one of the trillions in our galaxy alone, and our galaxy is just one of the one hundred billion galaxies in the known universe. On this scale, the minutiae of our 80-year lifespans is no more important than the daily hustle and bustle on an ant hill.

    Of course, that doesn’t make our daily fears and frustrations any less real, but I always find there’s value in stepping back and gaining perspective by reflecting about our place in the universe.

    It’s impossible to carry this awareness with you all the time, but it’s a good way to reset and remind yourself about what’s truly important (or unimportant).

    3. You realize we’re all one

    Speaking of our insignificance, I’ve always been blown away by this image and accompanying speech by Carl Sagan:

    http://voiceseducation.org/sites/default/files/images/carlsaganexistence.jpg

    Isn’t it incredible? From the greatest conqueror to the lowliest beggar, everyone we’ve ever known or heard of has lived out their existence in that pale blue dot.

    From this cosmic perspective, our differences and petty bickering can seem pretty insignificant.

    4. It can motivate you to defer short-term gratification

    For some, the fact that we’re going to die one day means indulging in as much pleasure as possible while we’re on this earth. While that’s one way to look at it (and certainly justified to an extent), there’s a more balanced way to look at this.

    Yes, you’ll likely have regrets on your deathbed if you never took the time to enjoy life’s pleasures. But you’ll also have regrets if you don’t learn to defer short-term gratification in favor of bigger goals. Deferring short-term gratification is what lets you accomplish big goals – the kind of accomplishments that lead to a fulfilling life.

    For example, one of the most inspirational stories we published on InvestmentZen was about how Sean Cooper managed to pay off his mortgage in just 3 years, despite living in one of the most expensive cities in North America.

    He wasn’t rich and he didn’t have an especially high paying job – but he worked 3 jobs, spent almost no money, and rented out the main floor of his house and lived in the basement. By the end of 3 years, he was mortgage free.

    But if you think about your mortality and the type of things you’ll enjoy/regret on your deathbed, achieving financial freedom will open up your life to pursue dreams like long-term travel while you’re still young, starting a business, or spending more time with loved ones. These are the kinds of things you’ll never regret, and they’re much easier to accomplish if you can build financial freedom – something that requires short-term sacrifice.

    Sean sacrificed for 3 years so he wouldn’t have debt payments weighing down his happiness. Sure, he could have bought shiny new toys, enjoyed his entire house, and gone out to eat more often – but he’ll have the rest of his life to do that if he chooses.

    5. You realize you could die at any moment, so you need to enjoy the journey

    Obviously, there’s a trade-off here – if you defer gratification for too long, you could die before you get to enjoy it. Everyone has heard the classic story of the workaholic lawyer or banker who works crazy hours for decades, accumulates a ton of money, then has a heart attack the day before retirement.

    Is it a paradox to say that we should enjoy life because you could die at any moment, while also saying that you need to sacrifice to achieve long-term goals?

    I don’t think so. To me, it just means you should pick a path to your goals that’ll enjoy. Forget about work-life balance, find work that you love! There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make money and get rich, but if it means sacrificing decades of your life, your health, your sense of fulfillment, and your relationships – is it worth it?

    Know what you want to accomplish before you die and work towards it – but enjoy the journey along the way.

    6. On the scale of your life, small decisions can have a massive impact

    This might seem counterintuitive – after all, if we could die at any time, why bother planning ahead?

    But thinking about the finality of life and how little time we have can drive you to make key choices that will gradually steer the course of your life. For me, reflecting on deathbed regrets drove me to start a business instead of embarking on a professional career.

    It seemed like a tiny decision at the time – just choosing not to send out any resumes or go to any interviews. But 5 years later, my life is on completely different trajectory. How massive of an impact will that decision have in 10, 20, 40 years?

    Here’s an even more tangible (even mathematical) example of how small decisions can add up to huge results: let’s take a look at the power of compound interest.

    Small amounts of money put away early on in life and invested regularly will compound into life-altering money by middle age. Compound interest will work wonders for you if you start early, but every year you wait to invest means you have to put in a lot more money to match the smaller amount you could have put in earlier.

    Here’s a fascinating fact: compound interest is so powerful that someone who starts investing $100 a year at a 7% annualized return from 20-30 can stop investing completely for the rest of their life, but will STILL end up with more money than someone who starts saving $100 a year at age 30 and continues all the way to age 60.

    That tiny decision to put away a few dollars early on in life completely changes your financial prospects later in life. Yet a third of Americans don’t have any retirement savings.

    If those people stopped for a moment and looked at their life from start to finish, the decision to put away a few thousand dollars a year into a retirement account would be a no-brainer. Just $400 a month saved and invested in a standard allocation of equities and bonds will grow to over $1.1 million dollars in 40 years. That small decision to put away some money every month may seem insignificant in your 20s or 30s, but it can completely change the future of your family for generations to come.

    These days thanks for technology, saving and investing for retirement is easier than ever – robo advisors like Betterment or Wealthfront can manage your portfolio automatically at a low cost, while most banks will let you automate your investment deposits, allowing you to build your future on auto-pilot.

    Our lives are very finite – it may not feel that way when you’re young, but if you have long-term goals to achieve that you don’t start working on today, one day there may not be enough tomorrows.

    7. Seemingly big problems seem small next to eternity

    Whether you believe in an afterlife or you’re like me and you believe that this life is our one blink of consciousness, the fact remains that all our present-day problems are small compared to eternity.

    Thinking about death affects everyone differently. Yes, it can be scary on an existential level – even paralyzing. But every single one of us is racing against the clock whether we think about it or not, and contemplating mortality can be a powerful way to put our priorities and fears into perspective.

    Final Thoughts

    I don’t know about you, but for me, that’s enough thinking about death for one day! I’ll just leave you with one last quote from Steve Jobs:

    “No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it, and that is how it should be because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”

     

    Originally Written by : Nate Tsang 
    Link to original article: click here

  • in MOTIVATION

    If This Epic Pre Game Speech Doesn’t Fire You Up.. Check Your Pulse

    543 Views

    Sports and epic speeches seem to go hand in hand. If you need a hit of motivation scroll down.

    One of the most motivational speeches is Al Pacino from Any Given Sunday but another epic pep talk is the pre game speech delivered by Kurt Russell in Miracle.

    The film is based on the 1980 hockey Olympics match between the unbeatable Soviet Union and the huge underdogs the United States.

    In the film, the United States was greatly outnumbered in size and experience.

    The task before them seemed impossible.

    But Kurt Russell, playing the US coach Herb Brooks, delivers the incredible miracle speech to motivate his team.

    If This Epic Pre Game Speech Doesn’t Fire You Up 🔥 Check Your Pulse

    Here are three lessons you can take from the iconic speech.

    When It’s Your Time, Be Ready | Epic Pre Game Speech

    As Herb Brooks said, “Great moments are born from great opportunity.” The best moments in sports and life always happen when a moment is seized.

    Whether it’s Tom Brady stepping up to win another Super Bowl or Michael Jordan making so many clutch shots for game winners.

    The reasons these moments were made was becuase they made them happen. Without hard work, consistency and dedication they would have never been able to perform on the biggest stages.

    Ask yourself, are you putting in the work to set yourself up for big moments?

    Are you doing the little things, day in and day out, to get the chance to shine when your opportunity arrives?

    Quit Worrying About the Odds | Epic Pre Game Speech

    As Kurt Russell said in the film, “If we played them 10 times they would win nine. But not this game. Not tonight.” If you are trying to achieve something great in your life, chances are the odds are stacked against you.

    Whether you’re trying to become a professional athlete, build an epic business or win a marathon, the odds are most likely against you. That’s ok, if it was easy everyone would do it!

    The problem is that so many people see the odds and don’t even try. Remember, the biggest failure in life is not trying.

    When the odds are against you think to yourself how great it will feel when you defy all expectations. Don’t forget, the United States went on to complete the ultimate victory despite the odds being stacked against them.

    No one in the world believed it was possible. They believed.

    Always Believe in Yourself | Epic Pre Game Speech

    Do you believe in yourself with 100% confidence? As Kurt Russell said to close the speech in Miracle, “Tonight, we are the greatest hockey team in the world.”

    He gave them these final words before the Olympians took the ice. These words helped them believe in themselves.

    You have to have to have 100% belief in yourself or else you’ll never make it happen. Don’t worry about people telling you that you’re not good enough, smart enough or talented enough.

    Choose to believe in yourself.

    If you haven’t seen the movie Miracle I highly recommend it as the movie is incredibly inspirational. Remember, miracles exist but you have to put in the work to make them happen.

    If you aren’t willing to do the work when no one is watching you’ll never get your chance to be a champion.

     

    Link to original article: click here

  • in MENTORS

    14 Sir Isaac Newton Quotes Which Will Inspire You to Think and Act

    532 Views

    Isaac Newton is one of the most influential scientists in the history of mankind. When he was a teenager, his mother pulled him out of school in order to help out at their family farm. Newton did not have an interest in being a farmer with his love for learning, thus he went back to finish school.

    His masterpiece Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica (which means “Mathematical principals of Natural Philosophy”) was published in 1687. It is here where he describes his famous three laws of motion along with the law of gravity. In addition to this, he invented the reflecting telescope and a new type of math called “fluxions,” which we now know as calculus.

    Below are some of Newton’s most famous quotes:

    1. “If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants.” – Isaac Newton

    2. “Nature is pleased with simplicity. And nature is no dummy” – Isaac Newton

    3. “What we know is a drop, what we don’t know is an ocean.” – Isaac Newton

    4. “No great discovery was ever made without a bold guess.” – Isaac Newton

    5. “Truth is ever to be found in the simplicity, and not in the multiplicity and confusion of things.” –Isaac Newton

    6. “What goes up must come down.” –Isaac Newton

    7. “Live your life as an Exclamation rather than an Explanation” – Isaac Newton

    8. “You have to make the rules, not follow them” – Isaac Newton

    9. “We build too many walls and not enough bridges.”- Isaac Newton

    10. “If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been due more to patient attention, than to any other talent.”- Isaac Newton

    11. “Genius is patience.”- Isaac Newton

    12. “To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction.”- Isaac Newton

    13. “My powers are ordinary. Only my application brings me success.”- Isaac Newton

    14. “I believe the more I study science, the more I believe in God.”- Isaac Newton

     

    Originally Written by : Armando Quintana 
    Link to original article: click here

  • in MOTIVATION

    3 Lessons Learned From Lewis Hamilton That Made Him The Greatest

    562 Views

    Lewis Hamilton is a four-time Formula One World Champion who knows how to win, not only on the track but in life. He is often considered one of the best drivers of his generation and one of the best of all time. In 2008 he became the youngest champion in history with a come from behind victory to win the championship on the last turn of the last race of the season.

    Here are three lessons you can learn from one of the greatest racers of all time to help you become the best version of yourself.

    1. Always Focus On The End Goal

    From an early age, Lewis Hamilton knew that he wanted to become a race car driver. After receiving a radio-controlled car from his dad at six years old his family saw his passion for driving.

    And by eight years old he was winning local go-kart circuits and junior races. During his childhood, he even met his future boss Ron Dennis. He told him at a young age, “One day I’ll be racing your cars.” Sure enough, with his focus and determination, he made that dream into a reality as a driver for Ron Dennis and Mercedes.

    How focused are you towards what you’re trying to achieve in your life? Do you have the same level of focus Lewis has to achieve your goals?

    If not, you must learn how to cultivate your focus by getting crystal clear on what you’re trying to achieve and then reverse engineer everything. If you don’t know where you’re going it’s easy to get lost end up nowhere.

    Keep the end goal in your mind at all times!

    2. Discipline Always Pays Off

    Lewis Hamilton is one of the most disciplined athletes in the world. While some people might not think of F1 racing as a sport you need to be in peak shape to be successful in. Lewis treats his body like a temple. His physical condition enhances his mental clarity.

    When speaking with Men’s Health, “Well, I’m an athlete, but people tend not to see that with F1 drivers. I train to quite an intense level because Formula 1 is so physical – the G-forces, the demands on your body. Your heart rate is 150, 160 for the whole race. On the qualifying lap, your heart rate can be up to 180, 190, under tough conditions.”

    His discipline to clean eating and constant training have helped him win 43 F1 races in his career.

    How disciplined are you toward achieving your goals?

    Once you’re focused, keep putting in the work to stay committed day in and day out. Remember, success comes from doing the little things on a consistently.

    Success and failure don’t happen overnight. They are based on the discipline to do the little things well, day in and day out.`

    3. Put in the Hard Work

    The last lesson from Lewis is all about his commitment to achieving greatness. As he said, “You start training in December, start testing end of January and through all of February, then you go to the season. In the season, you’re gone for a month-and-a-half, then you come back for a few days and you’re gone again. You’re constantly traveling. Formula 1 doesn’t stop.”

    How committed are you to achieving your biggest goals? Are you willing to commit to making progress every. single. day?

    Learn from Lewis that success isn’t overnight but instead happens from continual hard work. Small progress eventually leads to perfection.

    Use these three lessons from Lewis Hamilton to become the greatest version of you. Life is too short to settle for an average existence.

    Put in the work daily achieve your biggest, most audacious dreams.

     

    Originally Written by : Michael Leonard
    Link to original article: click here

  • in LIFE HACKS

    Hero of the Week: 80-Year-Old Saves Drowning Child, Only to Realize He Also Rescued His Father 30 Years Prior

    342 Views

    The world can be a dark and dangerous place, but selflessness has the power to prevail in the most heartbreaking of circumstances. Whether it’s putting another life before your own, making someone else’s dreams come true, or paying forward random acts of kindness, everyday heroes are all around us. Every week, we take the opportunity to celebrate the most extraordinary ordinary people from all over the world who make our little blue dot a better place. Welcome to Hero of the Week.

    80-year-old Xu Weifang lives a quiet retired life in the town of Zhutang, Jiangsu Province about 30 miles from the Classical Gardens of Suzhou, the 1,000-year-old UNESCO World Heritage gardens. But life by the river sometimes gets rather exciting — in fact, sometimes it becomes downright scary. The river can be treacherous, especially for those who can’t swim, as one young boy was about to find out.

    On the morning of August 3rd, Xu and his wife’s peace was suddenly broken when they heard frantic cries for help from the river, shanghai.ist reported.

    They both rushed out to see what was happening and found an 8-year-old boy who was barely staying above the water. He had been playing with his grandmother by the river and fell in, as they would later learn. Having lived by the river for decades now, this wasn’t the first time Xu and wife Wu Xiaomei saw people’s lives threatened by the river. And just like before, they jumped into action.

    Well, sort of. As Xu later joked with Jiangsu Television, Baywatch-style rescues aren’t really possible for him anymore, “Now that I’m old, I can’t jump anymore.”

    In fact, the octogenarian had a bad fall down a flight of stairs two years ago, and never managed to fully recover since then.

    But that didn’t stop him from doing everything he could to save the young boy. He got into the water with the help of his wife and pulled the boy to safety, making the boy the fifth person the couple rescued from the river.

    Not content with simply pulling the boy from the water, the couple couldn’t help but wonder if he was OK.

    Xu went to the hospital to see if the 8-year-old was doing better and got a massive surprise: he knew the boy’s father.

    The most incredible part? Xu knew the father, because he had rescued him from the same river some 30 years prior. Although back then Xu was more spry. “When I was younger, [the boy’s father] was drowning in the river and I jumped to save him,” he recalled for Jiuangsu Television.

    Since that fateful day 30 years ago Wu and Xu have saved four other people from drowning in the same river. Always willing to lend a hand, the hero couple does hope that their help won’t ever be needed again though, as their age might soon prevent them from rescuing others.

     

    Originally Written by :  Eliza Theiss
    Link to original article: click here

  • in MOTIVATION

    5 Books You Must Read If You Are Serious About Success

    554 Views

    Successful people READ… successful people LISTEN and successful people never stop LEARNING.

    If you’re not learning, growing and evolving who you were yesterday – who you will be tomorrow is going to be no better.If you’re not growing… you are falling behind.

    If you want to GROW, you must start injecting your mind with new information… always looking for a new spark, something to light a fire inside you.

    Here are 5 books you must read, that will help you rise to a new level in your life, in every area, financially, spiritually and physically.

    NUMBER 1. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

    A true gold mine for your mind. Filled with golden nuggets, this book could change your life in any given chapter.

    Just try and find a highly successful person who has not read this book.
I doubt such a person exists. Think and Grow Rich is the book said to have created more millionaires than any other book in history. You will learn the secrets used by the ultra-wealthy and successful, secrets and principles which, when applied, work just the same today.

    You will learn practical steps on how to transform your dreams to reality, and how to apply all the traits of successful people to your life.

    If you have not read it yet, and you are serious about success, make this your first purchase.

    NUMBER 2. Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins

    Written by, possibly the greatest success coach of all time, and the human responsible for transforming more lives than any other, Tony Robbins.

    Unlimited Power will guide you into discovering what YOU really want for your life. It will teach you all things human psychology, including how to reprogram your mind in minutes and eliminate any fears of phobias you may have.

    Tony will also teach you how you can duplicate the success of other people, through proven practices. A must read if you are truly serious about becoming successful and understanding how the human mind works.

    NUMBER 3. How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

    If you want to enhance your relationships with others… personally and in business.

    If you want to understand how to genuinely create and maintain positive relationships and respect with anyone… If you want to understand how to communicate with ANYONE to get that job, to land that deal, to create a winners circle… this book is for you.

    It’s no wonder this book has sold 15 million copies! The practical advice given by Dale Carnegie will transform your life.

    NUMBER 4. The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss

    Productivity. Productivity. Productivity.

    If you want to be more productive, spend less time working and MAKE MORE MONEY in the process, this one is for you.

    Eliminate everything from your life that takes your time for little reward, and create more time for LIVING. You might not be able (or want to) work only 4 hours per week, but if you can work LESS and earn MORE – this will be a very smart investment.

    NUMBER 5. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

    Learn how successful and EFFECTIVE people operate.

    Dive deeper into the 7 habits Covey says effective people share:
    -Being Proactive.
    -Beginning with the End in Mind.
    -Putting First Things First.
    -Thinking Win/Win.
    -Seeking First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.
    -Synergize.
    – Sharpening the Saw.

    By reading books like these, and many others of the same calibre, you are expanding your mind into a new level… a level that successful people live in.

    You will soon be thinking like successful people think, acting like they act… BELIEVING like they believe all in your OWN way. And in no time will you be achieving and LIVING your own version of success.

    Link to original article: click here

  • in MENTORS

    13 Important Life Lessons from Shel Silverstein

    452 Views

    Shel Silverstein had a certain way with words that is unmatched by many of his peers. His stories are very poignant and speak to the soul in ways that are hard to describe, but his fans know all too well. They also serve as great instructionals for how to live life to the fullest, and overcome the challenges that come with it. Here are some of the best life lessons that can be gleaned from his works.

    “Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” ~Shel Silverstein

    The build up to this line advises to listen to all of the naysayers in the world, and then take what they say and throw it all away. This is a life lesson that might take an entire lifetime to learn and master. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like you can create anything you want, especially when the world around you is telling you that it can’t happen, or that you shouldn’t do it.

    Ignoring those naysayers can be tough because they often come in the form of friends, family, and significant others. Learning to ignore their remarks while still loving them is a valuable skill.

    “Do a loony-goony dance ‘cross the kitchen floor. Put something silly in the world that ain’t been there before.” ~Shel Silverstein

    Here’s a great lesson, and one that shows that what you do doesn’t have to make sense or conform to tradition. Think outside the box, color outside the lines, be different, unique, and original. Create what hasn’t been done before.

    Those are the kinds of things the world will always be in need of. Maybe it won’t make sense at first, but some of the best inventions and creations didn’t make sense when they were first dreamt up.

    “There is a voice inside of you, that whispers all day long, I feel this is right for me, I know that this is wrong.” ~Shel Silverstein

    This is often referred to as your conscience, but really it’s a feeling that you get rather than a voice or a talking cricket. When something doesn’t feel right, that’s your guide that you shouldn’t do it.

    When something feels good, that’s your guide that you should do more of it. Problems arise when you start ignoring that voice, either continuing to do something when it doesn’t feel right, or stopping yourself from doing something that makes you feel good.

    It’s nice to know that we’re hard wired to have a good life and do good things, it’s just a matter of listening to our inner self.

    “There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part. So just give me a happy middle and a very happy start.” ~Shel Silverstein

    Making sure that the start and the middle are happy times is the most important part of any relationship. There’s usually not much you can do about the ending, so the only thing you can focus on is the happiness experienced up until that point. And in the end, that’s all that really matters. Most of the time the start is easy enough to get right, it’s the middle that needs the most attention to make sure it’s a good time.

    “If you’re a bird, be an early bird. But if you’re a worm, sleep late.” ~Shel Silverstein

    This is an amusing take on the oft quoted phrase “The early bird gets the worm.”. It helps to see things from the worm’s point of view, and is a fitting piece of advice. The early bird does get the worm, but the worm that gets a later start lives to see another day. Perhaps this can be used to show that not every piece of advice works for everyone, since we all have different jobs, different lives, and different personalities. What motivates one person might demotivate another. So always choose what applies to you and your situation.

    “If there is a book you want to read but isn`t written yet, write it.” ~Shel Silverstein

    If you have an idea for a book, movie, song, TV show or any other creative work that you’d like to see done, don’t wait around to see if someone writes it for you, write it yourself! If you have the idea for it and you’re sure it’s not out there yet, let it flow out of you and then share it with the world. It’s not fair for you to keep it to yourself for your own personal enjoyment, and if you were given the idea you are obligated to the world to share it and let everyone else benefit from it as well.

    “If the track is tough and the hill is rough, *thinking* you can just ain’t enough!” ~Shel Silverstein

    Here Shel brings up the point that sometimes thinking isn’t enough, because what you really need to do is believe. Thinking you can leaves room for doubt. Believing you can erases that doubt and makes it impossible to fail. When things are going easily and effortlessly you might be able to get by on just thinking you can. But when you run into trouble, when things get rough and tough as he describes, you’ll need to dig deeper and eliminate all doubt, and know that you can.

    “And all the colors I am inside have not been invented yet.” ~Shel Silverstein

    There are parts to your life that haven’t been invented, because you haven’t lived it yet. There are ideas within you that you haven’t had yet. There are qualities within you that can’t be described because the words don’t exist to describe them. This is a great quote to remind yourself that you are more than meets the eye because there is still life in you to be lived. It also speaks to that inner part of you that can’t be put into words because it is bigger than your physical self. It’s the energy inside you that can’t be limited to the colors that exist in the physical world.

    “Talked my head off Worked my tail off Cried my eyes out Walked my feet off Sang my heart out So you see, There’s really not much left of me.” ~Shel Silverstein

    Here’s a good way to live your life, live it so that there’s nothing really left when it’s all said and done. If you find that you’re working too much, that’s good because it means you’re working your tail off. If you find that you’ve been crying a lot, it means you’re crying your eyes out. It means you’re living your life and not just letting life pass you by. When your time comes you want to be sure that you’re not leaving anything on the table, that there aren’t experiences left un-experienced, places you want to go left un-gone. This is one life tip that you can carry with you all your days.

    “Just ’cause somethin’ ain’t been done Don’t mean it can’t be did.” ~Shel Silverstein

    You don’t have to wait for a precedent to do the things you want to do. Sometimes you’ll dream up something and it doesn’t yet exist. That doesn’t meant it can’t exist, it just means someone hasn’t done it yet. The same was true of the 4 minute mile, everyone thought it couldn’t be done, until someone did it, and then more and more people started doing it. You can be that person that does it first, and instills the belief in others that they can do it too.

    “But all the magic I have known I’ve had to make myself.” ~Shel Silverstein

    Life is magical, but you’re the magician, and if you don’t perform your tricks it’s not going to perform them for you. This quote reminds you to keep pulling rabbits out of the hat, which means different things for different people. Each of us has a “magical” talent, something they can do better than anyone, or just a knack for creating new things, or accomplishing goals. Find your magical ability and be sure to put it to use each day.

    “Many leaves one tree.” ~Shel Silverstein

    This reminds us that we all come from one source. Even though we may look different, speak a different language, and are scattered across the globe, we’re still all connected in a sort of oneness by our very nature. When you first read this quote it probably spoke to you in some way, like it was telling you something you already knew but needed to be reminded of. It holds within those four simple words great wisdom that each of us already understands, but that is hard to remember in our modern world.

    “How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live ’em.” ~Shel Silverstein

    There aren’t really good days and bad days, a day is neutral. It’s what you do with it that makes it good or bad. How much good can you pack into a day should be the real question. It helps to write a list of things you think would make up a good day, and then try to live up to that list each day. This creates a sort of checklist that you can refer to throughout the day to make sure you’re on track for another great day. Try to get out of the habit of referring to good days and bad days, and treat them all equally, since good can be had out of each one.

    Link to original article: click here

  • in MOTIVATION

    Eating One Meal a Day Will Lead To Better Health, More Muscle and Less Fat, According To This Bodybuilder

    586 Views

    We are constantly demanding our bodies work overtime in a bid to keep up with our fast-paced lifestyles. Mike Rashid explains how eating one meal a day can help you restore your vitality.

    Whether it be through digestion (sugary/unhealthy food), stress, drug use (prescription, caffeine, alcohol, tobacco) or pollution our bodies have a lot to deal with..

    This has a huge effect on our general health and energy levels.

    Mike Rashid is a man with a wealth of knowledge in health, bodybuilding & nutrition he is also an avid experimenter and will utilize any strategy that improves his overall physical prowess. The world we live in is more competitive than ever. Mike’s goal is to stay at the top of the food chain.

    Below Mike shares some insight into his latest style of eating. This dieting technique is also embraced by other high performance athletes like Rhonda Rousey & Herschel Walker.

    By eating one meal a day the aim is to reduce the workload we put our bodies under, thus increasing overall health and performance.

    One scientific study  has revealed this fasting style may benefit the cardiac system and improve memory. It is also a proven way to lose excess fat and increase mental clarity.

    When beasts talk, we listen. Mike Rashid a man with a lifetime of experience in cutting edge athletic performance. Listen as he explains his take on the increasingly popular 23/1 intermittent fasting program.

    Eating One Meal a Day Will Lead To Better Health, More Muscle and Less Fat, According To This Bodybuilder

    Expanding on the Intermittent Fasting, and Ketogenic Diet Hacks, Mike Rashid made a second video:

    What was your take on Mike’s new style of eating? Do you have your own strategies that keep you ahead of the pack? Share your opinion with us in the comment section below.

     

    Link to original article: click here

  • in MOTIVATION

    6 Simple Things We Can All Do to Ensure We Become a Success Story

    390 Views

     

    Our latest article on how to ensure we become a success story.

    Even when we’re trying our hardest to succeed, many of us don’t know the keys to developing a success mindset. There are actually critical do’s and don’ts—advice based on success psychology—that go along with courting victory.

    If you’ve had difficulty achieving success, you may be surprised to discover that the recommended strategies are just the opposite of what you’ve been doing all along.

    Learning about what works—and what doesn’t—will help you do a 180 and become a success story.

    How to ensure we become a success story.

    1. Focus on what you’re doing well

    Some people can’t seem to help themselves from obsessing almost exclusively about what they’ve done wrong. Trying to be modest, they minimize their successes, if they acknowledge them at all, and often over-reference theirmistakes or failures.

    That’s because many people were raised to think that it’s a sin to boast or brag, and were groomed to be humble and self-effacing about their achievements. Maybe they had a braggart parent and vowed early on not to be like him or her. Or perhaps they were taught that “pride cometh before the fall” and never learned that feeling pride in a job well done is a great motivator.

    I once had a therapy client who refused to say she was proud. It made sense knowing her history. When she was a child in a highly religious family, she was whipped with a Palmetto branch whenever she expressed pride in herself. It took her three years with me to even say the word and, until then, in our sessions she would refer to it as “the P word.”

    Successful people know the difference between boasting and feeling or expressing pride. They feel pleasure (not shame) thinking about what they’re doing well, focus on it, and enjoy the glow they experience from their achievements.

    They may feel enormous pride in their accomplishments, but appear humble about them with others. There’s nothing wrong with that. The point is that deep inside, where it matters, they’re thrilled with what has gone well for them, especially when they made it happen.

    2. Learn from, then stop focusing on, what you didn’t do well

    For most of us, the list of what we’ve failed at or lost out on goes on and on. Such is life: we won’t always succeed and sometimes we’ll be a flat out flop. The antithesis of the success mindset is being pre-occupied with these unhappy and unfortunate moments.

    They include what you’ve done wrong or poorly and fixating on your failures, such as losing out on a job, flubbing a presentation, not scoring that hoped-for second date, low marks on an exam, not qualifying for the team, or that dinner party you hosted where no one seemed to enjoy the guests or the food.

    Some people dwell on what they did wrong, recalling and analyzing every battle they’ve ever lost. In therapy, they tell me about these events in excruciating detail, although it makes them feel ineffectual and despairing.

    Instead of looking objectively at behaviors that disappoint them, learning from them and filing them away for future use, they beat themselves up mercilessly over their perceived failures and dwell on them ad nauseum.

    We’re hard-wired to think about our mistakes and close calls or how would we ever correct and learn from them in order to survive and thrive? So, the trick is to note and accept them, to consider them without judgment but with an abundance of curiosity.

    To view them not as blots on our identity, limits on our abilities, or indicators of our declining potential. When you think of them as nothing more than learning experiences, you’re getting the gist of what mistakes and failures are all about.

    3. Focus on what you’ve done, not on what you have left to do

    Even when people are somewhat successful, they may over-focus on problems yet to be solved or the seemingly insurmountable tasks ahead.

    Anxiety about the future too often overshadows feelings of pride in what they already have achieved and may make them feel overwhelmed and hopeless about all the work that’s left to be done. Let’s face it, there is almost always more to learn and do when striving to become a success story.

    Successful people know this and don’t obsess about what they haven’t done or have yet to do. It’s a waste of time and brings them down. Instead, they concentrate on what they’ve accomplished, which makes them feel gratified and empowered, spurring them on.

    For example, in my field of treating binge and emotional eaters, recovery is generally a long, bumpy road. Knowing this, I encourage clients to feel proud of the times they avoid engaging in mindless eating and discourage dwelling on the binges they have because they currently lack the skills to manage upset without turning to food.

    They have a choice: they can feel proud that they hit the gym twice during the week or bummed that they didn’t make it the three times they’d vowed they would go.

    They can enjoy the fact that they’re regularly shopping for healthier foods and preparing nutritious meals, or fixate on their disappointment of having a high-fat, high-calorie McDonalds’ meal because they didn’t know what to do with themselves on a lonely Saturday night.

    4. Choose goals that give you a real chance of succeeding

    I recently had to hire a freelance social media assistant when mine moved on, so I posted a job description on an employment website and waited for what turned out to be four dozen resumes to pour in.

    The problem is that about half of these applicants had absolutely no professional experience in the field of social media. I’m guessing they had a Facebook or a Pinterest account or the like, but many of them were coming from totally unrelated fields (such as cook, home health aide, or truck driver).

    I understand that it’s a tough economy and people will take a shot at almost any job that comes along, but I couldn’t help but think how these people were setting themselves up to fail, that is, to not even get an interview for the job I posted.

    And this is why I advise you to put efforts only towards endeavors that give you a substantial chance of becoming a success story. Maybe that chance is a long shot, but you’re more likely to hit a home run when you’re at least in the right ball park.

    Another problem is that some people simply are out to prove to the world and themselves that they’re successes, which can easily boomerang and produce failure.

    Actually, it’s not so much success they’re striving for as trying to convince themselves and others that they’re not failures. A bit of this attitude can be a boost to motivation if you know what you’re doing.

    However, you don’t want to be throwing yourself into an endeavor just to prove your worth, then end up disproving it. This is a pattern that some folks have from childhood and they wind up failing at many things because their motivation was an unhealthy one and their goals were inappropriate in the first place.

    Here are some scenarios to illustrate this dynamic. Sometimes others see this tendency in you and subtly (or not so subtly) mention that a job seems out of your league, but you apply for it anyway and never hear back about it.

    Or you insist on struggling with do-it-yourself fix-ups in your house when what’s needed is more expertise than you have or can quickly acquire.

    When you end up calling in a plumber, electrician, etc., you feel sorely disappointed in yourself and use the event as one more example that proves you’re an incompetent failure who can’t do anything right.

    5. Do what you need to do when it needs to be done rather than put it off

    One of the biggest barriers to becoming a success story is putting off tasks you must do to succeed. This is especially true when you’re trying to win, get ahead, complete a project, or show yourself in the best light.

    My view of procrastination (a word I don’t use because of its pejorative connotation) is simple: It involves both wanting to do something while also not wanting to do it.

    Whenever we’re in that kind of internal conflict, we want to avoid self-judgments and, instead, be curious about what our ambivalence is really about, the point being that we need to understand what’s preventing us from doing what we say we desperately wish to do.

    I’ve known talented, motivated people who are so conflicted (consciously or unconsciously) about doing what’s necessary to succeed that they stay stuck in place. Some of my clients want a job (yet also don’t), so they avoid job-hunting except in the most casual way.

    Many of my dysregulated eating clients year to end comfort eating, yet fail to follow my suggestions to help them stop this behavior—find hobbies or passions, work on developing frustration tolerance and delaying gratification, improve their emotional intelligence, learn to depend on others, change their self-talk, read books on emotional and mindless eating, join an eating support group, etc.

    I understand that they have mixed feelings, mostly about relying on food for pleasure and solace, but calling this behavior “procrastination” only makes them feel worse about themselves and more likely to seek food to feel better.
    If you often procrastinate yet want to succeed, you’re not going to get far.

    There are enough people out there with your talents and drive who do what’s needed in a timely fashion that you’re setting yourself up for failure. Recognize why you put off tasks and get help from a therapist, coach, trainer or self-help books in learning how to get things done. You need this skill for three reasons.

    The first is practical because doing what’s necessary will help you succeed in reaching your goals. The second is that people appreciate when they can count on you to do what you said you would.

    The third is that procrastination leads to self-doubt and disappointment, while getting things done leads to pride and self-empowerment.

    6. Be accountable and don’t take what people say or do personally

    It may seem obvious that we need to be accountable in order to succeed, but not to some folks. There are people who take the exact opposite approach and only want to be held responsible when things go well, not when they go poorly.

    They think that becoming a success story means always saying and doing the right thing, always coming out on top, always being the golden child, and never making mistakes.

    This puts them in the position of avoiding accountability when things don’t work or work out. For example, when their joint presentation falls flat or fails to impress, they blame the rest of their team, never themselves.

    When sales numbers dip, it’s always due to the other guy or gal. When their children grow up to be ne’er do wells and problems in society, they blame their progeny’s current and past peers, not their own poor parenting skills.

    Successful people know that the buck often stops with them and embrace this process. They feel confident enough to weather mistakes and failures and empowered enough to try to turn around fiascos. They would never wish to be anything but accountable and that comes across in what they say and do.

    These folks also don’t take everything said or done to them personally. While holding others accountable, they recognize that people have bad days and cut them slack. They are savvy enough to understand that others’ negative remarks say something about the speakers themselves, not those being addressed.

    They avoid taking things personally because they don’t doubt their self-worth and likeability and recognize their innate and learned limitations and weaknesses as well as their considerable strengths.

    Ready to become a success story

    Ask yourself these questions: Do I focus on my successes and achievements or dwell on times I’ve failed and made mistakes? Does my mind often wander back to missed opportunities and second (or last) place finishes or do I intentionally seek out and feel proud of memories of success?

    Do I obsess about what I haven’t accomplished or what’s still left to do? Do I fixate more on the past and future than the present? Am I thin-skinned and take offense too easily? Do I own am my mistakes and failures? Do I regularly put off what I want to do rather than get right to it?

    Whether you’re preparing your taxes or seeking a new job, climbing Mount Everest or cleaning out the garage, the above advice will help you become a success story and feel great about how and why you did.

     

    Originally Written by : Karen Koenig
    Link to original article: click here

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