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    Rumi Quotes: 25 Sayings That Could Change Your Life

    Rumi as we know him, was a 13th-century poet of immense talent. Similar to Osho, his work highlights the power of literature in its ability to transcend time, language and geographic locations.

    It’s incredible to think that he could cover so many topics, in so few words, and still inspire us today. And he’s left behind a body of work that will inspire generations to come.

    Below, we’ve covered some of our favourite Rumi quotes from poems and other works. This covers everything from life and love to death and beyond. We hope these words of wisdom will inspire you to harness the power of positive thinkingand become a tool for use in your everyday life.

     

    Rumi Quotes – 25 Sayings That Could Change Your Life

    On Life:

    1) “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Embrace your uniqueness.

    “2) Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Find what it is you love to do, and go do it. Everyone will be better for it.

     

    3) “Come, seek, for search is the foundation of fortune: every success depends upon focusing the heart.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Focus on what you want and then clear a path to get there.

     

    4) “Gamble everything for love, if you are a true human being. Halfheartedness does not reach into majesty.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Never skimp on love.

     

    5) “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: At a certain point, everything will click with the right person.

     

    6) “Why are you so enchanted by this world, when a mine of gold lies within you?” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Embrace the power you possess. Happiness does not come from the outside in.

     

    7) “You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”

    Our Thoughts: Live to your full potential. Believe in yourself and others will follow suit.

     

    8) “There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Embrace being a great listener.

     

    9) “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Change comes from the inside out. Start with yourself.

     

    On Not Sweating The Small Stuff:

    10) “If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Adversity will eventually help you shine.

     

    On Love:

    11) “Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Pursue your passions.

     

    12) “This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: How can we really explain love any better than this.

     

    13) “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Open yourself up to receive what is out there for you.

    14) “Gamble everything for love, if you are a true human being. Halfheartedness does not reach into majesty” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Go all out.

     

    15) “In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Take this, write a card, and give it to the person you love. That’s pretty much it.

     

    On Relationships:

    16) “Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Go beyond the kind words and you will find the answers.

     

    On Inspiration:

    17) “Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Follow your heart.

     

    18) “What you seek is seeking you.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Your dreams are chasing you as much you are chasing them. Embrace that.

     

    On Death, Sadness and Loss:

    19) “Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Move on with the knowledge that you will be happy again in time.

     

    20) “Before death takes away what you are given, give away what there is to give. ” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts:

     

    21) “Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Look beyond the superficial.

     

    On Anger:

    22) “Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Work to persuade with kind words rather than aggresive actions.

     

    On Being Gracious:

    23) “Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Continue to be grateful for everything you have.

     

    24) “There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: There are many ways to do the exact same thing.

     

    On The Future:

    25) “Yesterday is gone and its tale told. Today new seeds are growing.” – Rumi

    Our Thoughts: Embrace today and forget the past.

     

    Link to original article: click here

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    Have The Courage To Begin Again

    How is life going for you?

    Is this the life that you had planned?

    Many stumble into a life that is not the life that they want to live and resign themselves forever to a life of mediocrity.

    Have you even started? Many do not even bother making a determined effort to get clearon the type of life they want to live.

    There is an epidemic among the masses who are asleep, they have become fooled into getting in line with the sheep.

    If you are going to work just to make money and pay your bills then you have become a slave to the system.

    What a shame it is that most people are unaware that they are living a lie.

    If the life you are living is not one that you are proud of, have the courage to begin again.

    Have the courage within you to say, this is not how my story will end.

    Have the courage to start a new adventure of fearlessness in the pursuit of your dreams.

    The system in place has a way in which it hypnotizes people into believing that it is ok to just go to work to pay your bills and spend your entire life chasing things that will not mean much in the end.

    Awaken within yourself and shed the skin of mediocrity and reveal your true self.

    The one you want to truly be lay hidden behind the lies and fears of the world.

    We come into this world as fearless beings who have greatness instilled within us, but it seems that life has a way of dampening our spirits and turns us into ‘normal people’, being normal is a crime to oneself, and the coward’s way of living.

    Begin again, let this day be day one of a new journey, the journey on the path of greatness, to a life of service, love, abundance, and prosperity.

    Life should be lived in a way that we impact millions of people with our gifts and potential, each person has the potential within them to make the world a better place, should we not take it on ourselves to help others if we are capable?

    Move away from this selfish living of just thinking about your own needs, start living for humanity, for the people, for the ones who have no one inspire them and tell them that they too have greatness within them.

    It does not matter about the life that you lived yesterday, you can start over, you can impact millions of people, you can be the one you want to be, and you can live your dreams.

    Have the courage to begin again if you find that you are not happy with the life that you are living.

    Many people make the mistake of repeating the losers story within their mind, they sell themselves short by repeating to themselves that they are their past mistakes, failures, disappointments, and grades, and to top it off they are so easily swayed by the opinions of others who tell them what they can or can’t accomplish and they accept those peoples definition of them (Major Key*: Move away and eliminate negative life restricting peoplefrom your life – negativity is contagious, believe me, I know, I have experienced it). You have to start telling yourself a new story within your mind, one where you are the champion, the hero, the winner, one in which you are living a life of abundance in all areas of your life. Keep on visualizing the dream life that you want to live and keep on repeating to yourself ‘I am living my dreams’. Exterminate the old thoughts that hold you back to the life that you don’t want to live, use your thoughts to elevate your life to a greater level not confine you.

    Always have action at the forefront of your mind. Action is the key that turns your dreams into a reality. Daily action on the right tasks will take you wherever you are determined to go. Action is what makes all the difference between who you want to be and who you become. Your daily actions determine the life that you live.

    “I HOPE YOU LIVE A LIFE YOU’RE PROUD OF. IF YOU FIND THAT YOU ARE NOT, I HOPE YOU HAVE THE STRENGTH TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.”

    F. SCOTT FITZGERALD

    Do share your thoughts, I would love to hear them, and share this article with others so that they too can Awaken and start living their dreams. Have a great day!

     

    Originally Written by : Asad Meah
    Link to original article: click here

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    38 Quotes About Smiling To Boost Your Mood

    Do you want to know something fascinating?

    Even though there are drastic differences between human cultures and the way we express ourselves, psychologist Paul Ekman discovered that facial expressions have a degree of universality that transcends time and place.

    Each of these thousands of ways of moving the muscles in our faces, serve to express and reinforce one of the six basic emotions: anger, disgust, enjoyment, fear, sadness, and surprise.

    And the most powerful and profound facial expression of them all?

    The smile.

    Smiling is universally considered to be a way we display joy. It can communicate our internal world to people on the outside, and it can be a welcoming sign to new people. In some cultures, such as parts of Asia and the former Soviet Union, in some contexts, smiling is considered dishonest.

    Whatever the case, our muscles can send feedback to our faces and help to boost our mood. Which is why we’ve created this post to help bring a few more smiles to your day.

    Here are 38 Quotes about smiling to boost your mood!

    “Peace begins with a smile.”– Mother Teresa
    “Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.”– Rashida Jones
    “Smile, smile, smile at your mind as often as possible. Your smiling will considerably reduce your mind’s tearing tension.”– Sri Chinmoy
    “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”– Thich Nhat Hanh
    “I eat every two hours. I sleep for eight hours. I have lots of water. I pray to keep calm. Most importantly, I have a smile on my face.”– Vidya Balan
    “Smile, it’s free therapy.”– Douglas Horton
    “Use your smile to change the world; don’t let the world change your smile.”– Chinese Proverb
    “Smile, it’s free therapy.”– Douglas Horton

    Smiling Is Good For Health

    One study out of the University of Kansas found that intentional smiling can improve not only your mood but your body’s stress response by activating the release of neuropeptides. Aside from being an obvious stress release, smiling has been found to lower blood pressure and improve immune function.

    “Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.”– Kenneth Branagh
    “The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.”– Thomas Paine
    “Maman told me that every time you smile, a very tiny bit of the smile stays stuck to your face, so as you get older and older your face starts to show all the tiny bits of all your smiles and you look like you are smiling all the time, even when you are just thinking about what to have for breakfast. She said, also, that if you frown a lot then the frown sticks to your face instead. That way when you are old you have a very frowny face and look cross all the time and people are scared of you.”– Claire King
    “Smile at strangers and you just might change a life.”– Steve Maraboli
    “Encouragement to others is something everyone can give. Somebody needs what you have to give. It may not be your money; it may be your time. It may be your listening ear. It may be your arms to encourage. It may be your smile to uplift. Who knows?”– Joel Osteen
    “Always find opportunities to make someone smile, and to offer random acts of kindness in everyday life.”– Roy T. Bennett

    Help Others For Joy

    It’s long since been known that helping others can be a source of joy. What many people overlook, however, is that this help doesn’t have to be in the form of some grand gesture. Because we’re social creatures who constantly take cues from those around us about how to feel, smiling is truly infectious and simply sharing your smile with those around you.

    “If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love.”– Maya Angelou
    “Strong people are ones who can smile for others’ happiness.”– Veronica Purcell
    “You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.”– Charlie Chaplin
    “Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart.”– Anthony J D’Angelo
    “Share your smile with the world. It’s a symbol of friendship and peace.”– Christie Brinkley
    “Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”– Mother Teresa
    “A smile is the universal welcome.”– Max Eastman

    Smiling Improves Relationships

    Smiling can help you attract the right relationships and can help reinforce the ones you have. Everybody enjoys a social atmosphere where there is positive and open body language. Smiling encourages trust in relationships and makes those around us more comfortable. Because it brings good feelings to yourself and to others, it’s a great personality trait to possess, and will take you a long way!

    “Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.”– John Ray
    “Smile in the mirror. Do that every morning and you’ll start to see a big difference in your life.”– Yoko Ono
    “You haven’t lost your smile at all, it’s right under your nose. You just forgot it was there.”– Anonymous
    “Smile! It increases your face value.”– Robert Harling
    “You don’t have to be happy to smile.”– Daniel Willey
    “Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.”– Jim Beggs
    “Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card, how you leave others feeling after having an experience with you becomes your trademark.”– Anonymous

    Make Smiling A Habit

    Smiling is one of the best healthy habits that you can adopt. It’s much more tangible than “positive-thinking” and is therefore easier for your body and mind to remember to do. Simply pick something that you do every day, like brushing your teeth or getting on a bus, and try and smile every single time you do it. Once you’ve made it a habit, you can bring smiling into other domains until it’s become something you naturally do all the time.

    “Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make people feel comfortable around you.”– Les Brown
    “What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life’s pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.”– Joseph Addison
    “Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts.”– Paramahansa Yogananda
    “All the statistics in the world can’t measure the warmth of a smile.”– Chris Hart
    “A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”– Phyllis Diller

    Smiling Increases Life Expectancy

    In addition to all these physiological benefits, and likely as a result of them, it seems that smiling may also be a significant predictor of life expectancy. In a 2010 study out of Wayne State University, researchers found that by looking at the intensity of smiles in old photographs, they were able to correlate our facial expressions with longevity. People that had bigger smiles were more likely to have lived to a greater age!

    “After every storm the sun will smile; for every problem there is a solution, and the soul’s infeasible duty is to be of good cheer.”– William R. Alger
    “Just one smile, immensely increases the beauty, of the universe.”– Sri Chinmoy
    “For a moment at least, be a smile on someone else’s face.”– Dejan Stojanovic
    “Colors are the smiles of nature.”– Leigh Hunt
    “I like to smile. I smile even when I’m nervous since it calms me down and shows my friendliness.”– Yani Tseng
    “We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.”– Mother Teresa
    Link to original article: click here
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    HOW TO KNOW IF FRANCHISING IS RIGHT FOR YOU AS A NEWBIE ENTREPRENEUR

    When you are just starting out in the business world, it can seem daunting at times. In order to be an entrepreneur and run your own business successfully; you need to have drive, determination, and vision. These will help you stay above water through the hard times.

    But you also need a great concept and suitable infrastructure and capital to implement it, which are sometimes harder to come by. In their quest for success, many young entrepreneurs turn to the luring world of franchising. But is that the most appropriate course of action for you?

    Reviewing the pros and cons of becoming involved in a franchise can help you decide if this is the way to go.

    For the Young and the Restless

    If you are suited for the entrepreneur lifestyle, you already know it deep inside. It can be stressful and risky; and there are people who are risk-averse and people who love grasping opportunities. They dream of making it big and making an impact all in one.

    But loving risks does not mean that everything about your first steps needs to be risky. Many people in their twenties and thirties already know that they are entrepreneurs in the making. But they lack the necessary experience in order to start from scratch.

    If you fall into that category, becoming part of a franchise is a great option to consider. It gives you a way in without requiring that you go through the painstaking process of learning how to run the business from the ground up.

    Instead, you buy into an already set-up mechanism that is already tested and you know that it works – and how to make the most out of it.

    By making your first move into the enterprise world through a franchise, you eliminate a lot of risks and allow yourself to acquire valuable experience that you will later be able to transpose into your own brand if you choose to.

    Yet it still leaves you room to feel what it is like to be a businessman:

    You will have to make strategic decisions about what makes you tick and inspires you, which franchise partnerships are best suited for you, where and when to open up and how to market your franchise business.

    These are all executive decisions that rest on your shoulders even with a franchise, and will make you understand what it feels like to run your own business.

    For people just out of school or those looking to make a much-needed career change, a franchise seems like a good choice.

    Perhaps what you have studied was not relevant to business; and you need practical experience to make up for that before moving on to your own brand ideas. Perhaps you do not yet have that perfect idea in your mind that you are certain will make the masses go wild.

    It is also a good test run for your own idea if you already have it:

    By choosing a business franchise with similar elements; e.g. one that relies a lot on everyday interaction with suppliers or contractors, or a business model involving a large number of employees or international clients. You will be able to fine-tune the details of your own plan in a relatively controlled environment and learn from this experience.

    Related  6 Investments Your Startup Can’t Be Afraid to Make

    Choosing the Perfect Fit

    According to Forbes, the International Franchise Association reports an overall number of 800,000 franchise businesses in the US alone. The industry employs roughly 9.1 million people in total and its contribution to the country’s GDP stands at an astounding $552 billion.

    To sum up, there are a lot of opportunities in franchising – and a lot of money to be made. Already established companies are usually on the lookout for franchising through young entrepreneurs. As they benefit from their enthusiasm and passion for hard work.

    When choosing a business franchise to become a part of, it is important that you do your homework on your future partner: Make sure that they value what you have to bring to the table and that they understand and appreciate your motivation.

    If you have identified a trustworthy partner you can work with, next (and perhaps most crucial) is the business idea. Make sure you find something that excites you and that the market needs. Just about anything can be franchised nowadays, from the most fundamental service-oriented businesses to highly creative areas.

    Going for the restaurant business is always a good idea especially if you are passionate about food:

    There will always be room for another Papa John’s or Subway, and Entrepreneur reports that their 2016 top 500 franchise list included 119 food-related businesses with over 200,000 locations.

    If you want a business that is more than the initial product, try to identify niche markets: a custom bicycle shop or a hipster coffee shop that focuses on other products as well, selling their own branded t-shirts or coffee-making equipment, can give you insight in different business sectors all at once.

    If you are more on the creative side, consider going into the movie or TV industry. And it doesn’t have to be focused on the initial product either. In fact, movie franchises nowadays branch out on all sorts of merchandise; from board games like Game of Thrones Monopoly or Cluedo and video games with a Ghostbusters or X-Files theme all the way to hoodies, mugs and kitchenware with a franchise’s brands, characters or themes. Which shows that franchising is more inclusive in its definition in 2018 than ever.

    You could also choose a franchise that lets you showcase your unique skills: open a fancy barber shop or go into the gym business to combine your passion for fitness and entrepreneurship, all part of an already successful franchise.

    Beware of the Drawbacks

    Franchising has its pros, but you need to make an informed decision before you decide to branch out. One key piece of advice is to not let your initial enthusiasm get the better of you. Being cautious during the first phase while the papers are being drawn up. And while the deal is negotiated, is essential for a smooth application of your agreement.

    While most big businesses have a standard procedure when franchising, make sure you get all the expert help you need. Be it from a lawyer, an accountant or a business consultant – to avoid gray areas.

    This will allow you to strike the perfect balance between security and independence. As managing an already established brand often comes with many strings attached.

    Related  The Most Effective Ways of Marketing As An Entrepreneur

    Consider also the way that you will raise the money you need:

    Franchising can be as costly as starting your own business, if not more, as you will need to be up to par to the standards of every other branch out there.

    That means that you may not be able to scale by expanding as your revenue starts to flow in – as you would if you were running your own business.

    Yet remember that this means you are already involved in one of the most crucial aspects of being an entrepreneur: finding the initial capital and choosing how to invest it. Which, at the end of the day, is what entrepreneurship is very much about.

    Being part of a franchise can make it easier to attract customers, but may also come with unwelcome restrictions.

    So before you try it out, make sure that its pros and cons make it the right fit for you!

     

    Originally Written by : Dan Western
    Link to original article: click here

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    5 Attitudes For Aging Gracefully

    One of the most popular marketing niches today is anti-aging. Yet no matter how much hype it gets, the process of aging is inevitable. The good news is that the effects and severity of the progression can be slowed down. But they can’t be stopped.

     

    “Aging well is the supreme expression of wisdom.” —Michael Gelb

     

    Alongside the anti-aging phenomena is a field of science known as the sociology of age. One thing to note is that there is a difference between the phrases “growing old” and “growing older.” Growing old refers to a particular age group, and “growing older” is a description of everyone and can be applied differently to different generations.

    Consider that in 1900 a 20-year-old man could scarcely look ahead to retirement at all. Today, such a person can expect to spend a quarter of his adult life in a retirement mode. In 1900, it was not uncommon for both parents to have died before the children reached adulthood. Today, it’s not uncommon for parents to anticipate surviving together with their children for 40 or 50 years—maybe more. We live a large share of our lives with our children as “age-status” equals.

    So even though we can slow down the aging process using cosmetics, exercise and nutrition, it’s good to keep in mind that anti-aging is not possible. There are some things we can do to age with dignity, grace and fulfillment, though. These can be the best years of our lives if we approach them correctly.

    Related: The 7 Laws of Healthy Old Age

    Here are five attitudes for aging gracefully:

    1. Accept the complexity that comes with longevity. 

    We are living longer, which creates more complexity in our relationships. This is exacerbated with the increase in divorce and remarriage, and so the matrix of relationships amongst kin and step-kin also accompanies longer living. Add to this that longevity creates more complexity in our options, too. What should we be doing for the next two or three decades? Retiring at 65 and dying at 68 is not the majority experience anymore. Life is complex; it’s a byproduct of an increased span of living. Accept it as a marvelous challenge.

    2. Develop a positive attitude toward growing older.

    Our bodies develop more aches and pains, less flexibility, pinched nerves, joint issues and skin that’s not quite as tight as it used to be. But our brain doesn’t. There are no aches, grinding parts or pulled tendons in our brain. There is no outright deterioration as we age—at least there doesn’t have to be. The brain has 200 billion neurons and 125 trillion synapses in the cerebral cortex alone, and it can actually significantly improve with age. According to Michael Gelb, the old paradigm was called “neuro static.” In other words, the brain didn’t develop too far beyond childhood and began to deteriorate after 30. Today, we know that the brain forms new connections and creates new cells. It’s called neurogenesis.

    We’ve been brainwashed into believing that the brain simply gets older. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s not a matter of brain capacity as much as self-imposed limiting habits that keep us stuck.

    A study was done on 660 people where the group was divided into those with a positive attitude toward aging and those with a negative attitude. It was conducted over a 22-year period. The positive group outlived the negative group by an average of 7 ½ years. Interestingly…

    • Lower blood pressure and cholesterol increased life spans by four years.
    • Exercise, weight loss and non-smoking added three years, but…
    •  A positive attitude toward aging had an even greater impact on survival.

    3. Exercise your mind.

    Our brains are either growing or shrinking. As with our muscles, exercise keeps the brain healthy and growing. Scientists call it neuroplasticity. Our brains can change and reorganize by forming new neural connections, not just when we are young but throughout our entire life. In fact, our minds are designed to grow, change, adapt and improve as we age. Some cells die when we get older, but only a fraction of our 100 billion cells are actually put to use. Brain connections can be strengthened and new brain cells can be generated and made available to be put into action. Cerebral growth happens when we challenge our learning and stretch our thinking.

    Related: 9 Easy Ways to Stay Mentally Sharp

    4. Broaden your interests.

    Routines can become ruts. When we do the same things we’ve always done, we stop learning and start living on autopilot, becoming limited as we age. But barring dementia, this can be turned around.

    A study was done on 100-year-olds that showed learning new things significantly improved their scores on memory tests, as new pathways in their brain were created. Our brains love stimulation. The result is a healthier, sharper mind.

    5. Recognize and express gratitude.

    A Harvard study showed that those who age successfully worry less about cholesterol and more about gratitude (and forgiveness). They have a clear sense of the meaning of gratitude, and they are great at spotting it and generous in expressing it. The impact that gratitude has on the quality of life is overwhelming. And yes, embracing aging with gratitude increases longevity.

    The topic of anti-aging is intriguing, but that should not be our focus. Our focus should be about aging wisely, intelligently and gracefully. What do you think?

     

    Originally Written by : Mick Ukleja
    Link to original article: click here

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    16 Empowering Quotes About Breaking Up and Moving On

    They say that breaking up is hard to do, and these break up quotes can help you get to a healthy place and put the past behind you. When you read quotes about moving on you are giving your brain positive messages that will help the healing process and get you back to a good-feeling place.

    1. Marilyn Monroe on Why Good Things Fall Apart

    “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” ~ Marilyn Monroe

    You just never know what’s around the corner, and you can’t hold the hand of who you’re supposed to be with until you let go of the hand you’re currently holding. There’s good in every situation, and in order to get through a tough break up and on to the next chapter in your life, you have to appreciate that what you had may have been good, but something better is on its way, and you’re a stronger person now because of what you’ve been through.

    2. Sarah Mlynowski on the Worth of Relationships

    “Just because a relationship ends, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth having.” ~ Sarah Mlynowski

    Too often we try to soothe ourselves by diminishing a relationship’s value in order to get over it more quickly. But it’s OK to think that the relationship was pretty great, but now it’s over, and it was worth going through the pain of the ending for all the good times you had together. Love always comes with the risk of getting hurt and putting yourself through some tough times, but it’s always worth the special moments you share.

    3. Paulo Coelho on What Crises Reveal

    “Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” ~ Paulo Coelho

    When you’re faced with a crisis like a breakup it’s actually life’s way of asking you what you really want. You now have a better idea of what you don’t want, so you can get clearer about what you do want and focus on that. A breakup is a fresh chance to start over, to work on you for a little while and then attract the person of your dreams, edited to include all of your new desires that were formed from your last relationship.

    4. Barney Stinson on the Virtue of Awesomeness

    “When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.” ~ Barney Stinson

    Even though Barney is a fictional character, he’s still good for an empowering quote now and then. This one rings true when you’re feeling down about a recent break up and you need to remind yourself just how awesome you are so you can get back to the real you. The good news is that when you start being awesome again you’ll attract someone just as awesome for you. It’s OK to feel sad for a bit after a breakup, but wallowing in it is only going to extend your misery.

    5. Guy Finley on Starting Over

    “Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” ~ Guy Finley

    You’re the only force that can limit what it is you’re capable of, so don’t let this temporary setback stop you from moving on to bigger and better things. There’s no timeline on how long it should take you to let go and start over, but you’ll feel that it’s the right time in your gut. When it starts to feel like a chore to still be hung up on this, that means it’s time to leave it behind and take a look at your fresh new clean slate with feelings of optimism.

    6. Turcois Ominek Gets You Feeling Better

    “One day they’ll realize they lost a diamond while playing with worthless stones.” ~ Turcois Ominek

    If someone didn’t treat you right, it’s most likely because they didn’t recognize your true value. You shouldn’t want to be with someone that would do this, and even though it hurts right now they’ll eventually realize that they made a big mistake and should have seen just how special you are. When you’re with someone that would do that it just means that you need to be with someone else that wouldn’t. Now that you’ve broken up you can set your sights on a better match for you.

    7. Oscar Wilde Gives Wisdom on Love

    “Never love anybody that treats you like you’re ordinary.” ~ Oscar Wilde

    If you got the feeling like you weren’t being treated like the extraordinary person that you are, then it’s probably best that you broke up, and you can now find someone that treats you as you should be treated. Relationships can be hard, and sometimes the passion will wane and couples will start taking each other for granted. If this goes on for too long it creates tension and a breakup ensues. But there’s no reason for the passion to die out, and you can find someone that stays madly in love and ready to adore you daily.

    8. M. Kathleen Casey on Pain and Suffering

    “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~ M. Kathleen Casey

    It’s no surprise that you’re feeling pain as you go through a breakup, but whether or not you suffer from it is a choice that you make. To feel pain is natural, but to make it something that ruins your life long after the event has taken place is totally unnatural. Feel the pain, learn from it, and use it in a way that makes you grow so that you can move forward with your life and have better results as you go along. Decide today to stop suffering and let the past be the past.

    9. Joseph Campbell on Life’s Plans

    “We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ~ Joseph Campbell

    Things don’t ever go exactly as planned, and the sooner you embrace that the sooner you can realize just how good things really are. Life has a way of working out according to its own design, and we can influence it but sometimes there will be twists and turns that we didn’t expect. As long as you stay positive and be willing to accept changes in your life that aren’t what you were expecting or planning on, you can start to see the beauty that life paints, and see that it uses broad strokes.

    10. Alex Elle Shares the Proper Breakup Mindset

    “I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.” ~ Alex Elle

    This is one of the most positive ways to look at a breakup, and if you can even come close to thinking like this about your own circumstances, you’ll heal much faster. It’s times like this that you find out just how strong you are, and because of that you become a better person, which can only lead to a better relationship when you decide to have another one. Without the struggle you would still just have an idea of how strong you are, but you wouldn’t have the proof to back it up.

    11. Sarah Evans on Weakness and Strength

    “Even on my weakest days I get a little bit stronger” ~ Sarah Evans

    It’s important to realize that this is a day by day process. There are no quantum leaps when it comes to breaking up and moving on. With each new day you get a little bit stronger and time works its magic so you’ll hurt a bit less. This doesn’t mean that this is a continual process, and there will be times when you regress now and then, but the point is that when you have a bad day it will be a little less bad than it was at ground zero when the breakup was fresh and most intense.

    12. Marcia Wieder on Singing Each Day

    “Every single day, do something that makes your heart sing.” ~ Marcia Wieder

    Breaking up is hard to do, but if you take this quote to heart you’ll be able to get over it at a much faster pace. You may not feel like singing every day, and some of the songs along the way may be sad songs, but eventually you’ll want to sing something a little more uplifting, and when that day comes you’ll know that you’ve made some real progress and have managed to stay true to yourself and your own personal development.

    13. Genevieve Rhode on the Power of Showing Up

    “Get up, dress up, show up, and never give up.” ~ Genevieve Rhode

    Here’s a great quote to read every morning so you can get into the proper mindset for greeting the day after a breakup. When you dress in clothes that make you feel good you can’t help but be affected by them. Show up to the party and get involved and you’ll see that there’s a whole new set of opportunities waiting for you just by you showing up. Never give up on love, even if you’ve been through some rough breakups. You’ll eventually end up where you’re supposed to be.

    14. Carl Sagan on Getting Where You’re Going

    “I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way.” ~ Carl Sagan

    You don’t have to know exactly where it is you’re going in order to head in the right direction. If you’ve been feeling bad for awhile about a breakup, and you haven’t felt like yourself in some time, you’ll know you’re back on track when you start doing things you used to like to do again. Once you start heading back to the real you, you’ll know it by the way you feel, and you’ll start to get feelings of excitement and anticipation at the new life that is shaping up for you.

    15. Anthony Robbins on Deciding Your Destiny

    “It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” ~ Anthony Robbins

    When you decide to let this breakup be part of your past, and move forward with the rest of your life, you’ll be taking a giant step in your self development. It’s these big moments when you feel like the world as you knew it is totally turned upside down that you’ll look back on and realize it was a huge turning point for amazing things to enter into your life. So decide today to be happy, healthy, and full of life and you’ll see signs that life is responding to your new energy.

    16. Jack Kerouac and Loving Your Life

    “Be in love with your life. Every minute of it.” ~ Jack Kerouac

    Even when you’re going through a tough time, it’s important to realize that this is your life, and you should love it. Not just the rosy parts, but all of it. This will help you realize that your life isn’t over just because of a breakup, and that this could be one of the best things that ever happened to you, you just can’t see the bigger picture yet. So you may as well try to enjoy it, even in the midst of what seems like a tragedy. Sadness is a part of life, not the dominant part, but a part, and it helps to show just how good you feel when you feel your best.

     

    Link to original article: click here

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    How a Coaching Retreat Inspired a Social Revolution

    I’m back from my confidence retreat in Barcelona with Julian and Krissi of LoveLifeSolved.com! Wow, that city is brimming with passion and creativity.

    There are buildings that look extraterrestrial sandwiched between ultra-sleek modern behemoths. They have a cathedral that almost looks like a cross between a sinister villain’s lair and a child’s imagination of a whimsical castle.

    The entire city feels like a living art piece.

    People are loud, expressive, and love to have a good time. Hundreds of people huddle close together in little outdoor squares, drinking and chatting until 6 AM. And that’s afterthey’ve been out dancing all night.

    But if that isn’t your thing, you could eat at one of the many Michelin star restaurants. Or head to a legal cannabis club. Or watch a machete fight go down in the street….(yes, that happened while we were there before the retreat began.)

    Yet despite all that energy, the city is spotless. It’s quite amazing to see and it allows all the beauty to come through.

    Barcelona is the type of place where anything goes. It’s was the perfect spot for our recent retreat to cultivate some reality breaking experiences. I’ll share a few of those with you and some of the bigger takeaways from this event.

    There are endless realities and possibilities

    In my retreat write-ups, it’s becoming a tradition to share moments that challenge what people think is possible. Here are some of the “reality breakers” from the guys’ social interactions:

      • One member had never traveled internationally. While we were out together, he hit it off with a girl on the street. He rescheduled his flight, took a train out to her hometown over an hour away, and had an amazing time with her.
      • Another guy could be social with men and in certain environments, like business settings. But he believed he wasn’t good enough or capable enough to introduce himself and attract new women.He met a girl from the US one of the nights who talked to him for 20 minutes and exchanged numbers. They couldn’t meet up after due to timing. To his surprise, she proactively made plans to reconnect with him back in the states this week.
    • Another member has an incredible sense of humor which airs on being a little “non politically correct”, dark, and even sexual. He had been holding back that side of him his whole life with new people. We taught him that it can be okay to express that in the right context and when those people are connecting with you.He had a wonderful conversation with a young woman who was a yoga instructor. About 10 minutes into chatting he said, “You have to show me some poses. I’ve got to keep my testosterone levels up.”

      She couldn’t stop laughing and opened up about her side passion for sex therapy. Later they joked about her upcoming birthday and how he needed to give her a birthday lap dance.

      That sense of humor completely changed the conversations dynamic and made it a lot more personal, fun, and sexual. It’s these moments where the vulnerability can bridge small talk into a more intimate connection.

    • Finally, one of the older guys met a younger woman outside in a square. After about 5-10 minutes of talking, he told her he wanted to kiss her. Before he knew it, she started kissing him.He and some of the other older men were attracted to younger women. But they feared that it would be weird or wrong to talk to them. They thought the women would question their age and reject them.

      Throughout the four days, I saw these guys routinely attract woman 5-10+ years their junior and not once did the women vocalize it was a problem. Obviously, they didn’t connect with everyone but more than enough women were interested.

    Many people set false limitations for themselves and others. The world tells us…

    You can’t talk to people in certain places, especially out in public. You’ll just bother them. No girl is going to want to connect with a guy who approached her on the street. You can’t be more vulgar or sexual with someone you just met. You’re too old to date someone younger.

    Yet every year, I’m amazed at how far the boundaries of reality can be pushed.

    So next time you’re making excuses about taking action, ask yourself…”Is this really true?”

    Charisma comes in all shapes and sizes

    When you think of a charismatic man, who do you picture?

    I bet you imagine a tall, handsome guy with a killer smile. He probably has the wittiest banter and always speaks with unshakable confidence.

    Those preconceived notions have been proved completely wrong at our retreats.

    I’ve watched just about every guy captivate an entire room, even those who thought it never could be possible for themselves. One of the attendees believed that because English was his second language and he had an accent, he could never be engaging. Multiple times throughout the retreat, people were enraptured by his “soothing, relaxing presence” and couldn’t turn their attention away.

    So while being physically blessed helps, it’s only one small piece of the equation. What makes someone charismatic is about so much more than that.

    We view someone as charismatic when…

    They become fired up about whatever they’re talking about. Their face lights up and their whole body becomes more animated. They are fully present in the moment. They let loose, act real, and aren’t performing. They truly enjoy themselves.

    Everyone has the ability to access that mode.

    I’m sure you’ve experienced that feeling when you’re with good company, excited to contribute to conversation, and not worried about being judged.

    You can recreate this atmosphere with new people and in situations where you feel more nervous. You just have to commit to showing your true self even though you may be afraid of judgment.

    Again, that means talking about subjects you love. Sharing your real opinions on all different topics. Being willing to disagree with someone. Asking things you want to knowand not what you think the other person wants to talk about.

    Doing this and then seeing the positive reactions of the people around you reinforces that you’re on the right track. Your self-confidence will only grow. And soon enough, you’ll be expressing yourself without constant second-guessing.

    Non-judgmental environments help us connect better

    In my Lisbon retreat write-up, I discussed how amazing it was that all types of people could get along when they’re vulnerable with each other. When people drop their guard and open up, they look past their differences and relate freely with one another.

    In Barcelona, we had arguably a more diverse crowd. We had larger age gaps, more minorities, and a wider variety of career backgrounds.Despite all that, everyone became super close, supported each other, and are already holding each other accountable.

    I’m proud to say that there still hasn’t been a verbal altercation at any of the retreats. That’s an incredible feat when you have a bunch of men dealing with insecurity around attracting women.

    Sometimes people have opposing views, but they’re able to talk them through without harboring any negative feelings. In fact, they grow closer because of those moments when they can still accept each other.

    In fact, one member walked up to me at the end the retreat and said…

    “I learned a lot from this experience. But I didn’t expect the most valuable thing I got. This was the first time in my life I felt I was in an environment where nobody was judging anyone. I felt like I could be myself — it was amazing.”

    I was touched to hear that because I know many other retreats aren’t like that.

    Julian told me about a coach he used to do retreats with. Even though the retreat goals were similar, it cultivated completely different environments. He told me that men would get competitive and even hostile with each other.

    So I contemplated why we’ve had such positive experiences and it hit me.

    These men are only able to be that vulnerable and make those connections BECAUSE of that environment. If they didn’t feel safe and accepted, they wouldn’t have had such a positive experience.

    People only drop their guard when they trust someone and feel like they aren’t being judged. That happens through a combination of:

    Vulnerability (being authentic and open) + Curiosity (listening well and caring about what they’re saying) + Appreciation (giving real compliments you feel they earned)

    At the retreat, I embraced my goofy self constantly and got vulgar at times. I didn’t just share my successes in dating, I was open about my “failures”.

    Julian revealed embarrassing stories, like when he shaved his head so he could overcome his physical insecurities.

    Krissi revealed what turned her on about guys, and pointed it out when a guy did something really attractive while roleplaying with her.

    Sarah made silly faces and used Austin powers quotes to get guys laughing uncontrollably for photoshoots. She even contributed what she looks for in men and her thoughts on expressing sexuality.

    And of course, all four of us were fully invested in getting to know the guys and eager to learn about their lives, interests, and stories.

    The whole crew!

    We genuinely praised them when they pushed themselves or revealed something we found valuable about then. Even though they came to us for help, we didn’t give them bullshit compliments just to make them feel better.

    All this combined creates an environment where the attendees knew we were being real and putting ourselves out there, too.

    You can put the same principles into practice to help people feel comfortable around you. That’s how you’ll build deeper connections even with someone you just met.

    The key lesson here is that you have to lead by example. Our retreats work because the staff are the first ones to “jump in”.

    Less theory, more practice = more results

    Krissi in her effortless flow

    When I started coaching, I obsessed over teaching guys theory. I spent years reading and experimenting with everything regarding self-confidence, social skills, attraction, and non-verbal communication. So naturally, I wanted to share all that knowledge with them.

    I’d take men out and tell them every detail at once. I’d give them ideas on how to introduce themselves, how to position themselves, and how to ask better questions. All this did was make them overthink everything, which made them more anxious to actually implement advice.

    I originally did the same thing with these retreats, although to a lesser degree.

    On the first retreat in Majorca, I spent most of the time at the house teaching theory. We spent a little of each session role playing those ideas with Kristina.

    By the retreat in Lisbon, we started integrating a lot more practice into every lesson (not including going out to talk to strangers). Kristina was brilliant at providing real, dynamic interactions as a beautiful woman while I shared feedback.

    That led to the guys having the most successful nights talking to women like they never had before. They were engaging, had deep talks, and even had some crazy intimate connections.

    So in Barcelona, we really dialed it up. We split roughly 50% theory to 50% practice every day. The results were astonishing.

    When the guys went out to apply their skills in the real world, their practice sessions translated perfectly. They were much more relaxed and able to naturally implement the ideas we had worked on. In turn, I would say 80-90% of their interactions went positively.

    This is so effective because most men read too much about self-improvement without ever applying it. Knowledge can only take you so far — human connection is an emotional experience and requires investment from you.

    Your personal growth needs that vulnerability and real-world experience more than anything else.

    You need more exposure to social situations to lessen anxiety, which then helps you be more present. When you’re more present, you can access your real thoughts and curiosity rather than performing.

    You need those interactions to develop your emotional intelligence so you can be dynamic with different types of people. And you need real world experiences which prove to you’re capable and people want to connect with you.

    The men at the retreat realized how critical taking action is to building self-esteem, skills, and relationships. So at one point, one of the members said this quote, which became the retreat motto: “MORE REPS”.

    It always get easier

    Talking to new people seems terrifying because you don’t have much experience doing it. And that fear probably prevents you from even starting.

    All you can imagine right now is how anxiety-ridden and awkward it will be to meet women. And your scumbag brain keeps telling you that it will always be like that.

    That’s just not possible, though. Developing self-confidence and improving your connections are processes just like anything else.

    More experience, exposure, and practice you will get more comfortable. You will see how healthy it is and that you really do make many people’s day. That together will motivate you to keep going.

    I told this to the guys on the first day of the retreat…

    It WILL get easier and more fun.

    All the guys were nervous the first time we went out. Many weren’t ready to take action and waited for others to go first. Even when their turns came, we often had to push them or one of the coaches would join them.

    A few days later, we could barely stop the guys from rushing to introduce themselves to people! They were enthusiastic and passionate. They would cheer each other on and were eager to keep pushing their comfort zones.

    It was incredible and it didn’t even stop there.

    The guys since then have been texting our Whatsapp group with awesome experiences. One guy met a woman on the plane ride home and they hit it off. Others are going out together on the weekends. And for the last week, the men have been personally sharing their interactions with me.

    We didn’t do anything magical for these men. We just gave them the accountability and motivation to actually introduce themselves to someone. Then we did it again…and again. Then the other guys did the same for each other.

    What I’m trying to say is that while having a coach makes things easier, you can do this yourself!

    I’ve written a decade of free material on what to say and how to overcome social anxiety. I’ve given endless ideas on how to hold yourself accountable. I’ve even detailed how to find friends or convert existing ones to meeting people with you.

    I promise if you put yourself out there for a couple weeks with some regularity, you can experience the same transformation. And once you do, you’ll be able to make strong connections anywhere for the rest of your life.

    Final thoughts and the start of a movement

    We all want to connect with people. We all want to be found desirable. We all want to create relationships that matter to us.

    We all walk around some days bored as hell just trying to get from place to place. And honestly when a nice person tries to engage us, it’s often the most interesting part of our day…or even week.

    Everyone saw the truth in this reality at the retreat. You can only see two strangers excited to connect so many times before you’re forced to accept it as beautiful.

    That’s how it was done for thousands of years before the digital age!

    Yet only a small percentage of the world engages in or encourages this behavior. Many people still think it’s weird, shameful, and wrong.

    That’s heartbreaking to me.

    After the retreat, us coaches spent a lot of time thinking about the future of our work. All of us agreed on one thing…

    We want more people to attract and connect with the people they want, in healthy ways.

    We genuinely believe if everyone was proactively more social, it would solve so many issues around empathy, loneliness, and broken relationships. We believe this movement would greatly improve society.

    To get there, we need not only more men to champion this idea, but more women, too. Without them, we have no revolution.

    We want women to experience that it’s possible to have deeply moving and meaningful connections with new people. And to show them that there are ways for them to take more initiative as well.

    So as our work continues to grow, we plan to interview more women about their experiences and insights. We want to collaborate with female leaders and host co-ed events. We also plan to expand into more gender-neutral content and advice specifically for women.

    Because at the end of it all, everyone has struggled with finding and sustaining relationships. If we’re trying to make the world a more connected place, then we all need to be in this together.

    I want to give a special thanks to everyone who made this possible.

    Thank you Sarah Katharina for making everyone look beautiful and documenting these precious memories.

    As always, our incredible photographer, Sarah Katharina

    Thank you Julian and Krissi for inspiring these retreats in the first place, busting your ass every day, and providing such brilliant insights for the guys.

    I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful and talented team

    And finally, a huge thank you to the men who attended. It was an honor to work with you and also a ridiculous amount of fun. We were so sad the days after you left. We hope you know that you’re fueling a passion in all of us and this literally couldn’t have worked without you.

     

    Originally Written by : Nick Notas
    Link to original article: click here

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    6 Reasons your grades do not define your intelligence

    There’s a popular quote that’s floated around the internet for years. It’s often attributed to the famed 20th century physicist Albert Einstein:

    “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

    There’s not much evidence that Einstein ever said that…but does it matter? Does it make the basic logic behind the statement any less true? Unfortunately, the way we evaluate peoples’ skills and abilities makes about as much sense as judging a fish by its climbing ability.

    Do you believe your grades define your intelligence?

    A fixation on tracking our growth and capabilities using a standardized grading scale gets implanted in us at an early age. By the time we reach adulthood, many people simply accept this as the only method to gauge what we can accomplish. That’s a huge problem – because grades and intelligence are two very different things.

    Here are six reasons why grades and your intelligence are NOT the same.

    Reasons your grades do not define your intelligence

    1.) Grades don’t necessarily reflect your abilities

    You might know the lessons covered in class, but still be unable to translate that into performance once it’s up for a grade. Your mental and emotional state are powerful factors. For example, a lot of people suffer from test anxiety. That can make it difficult to succeed – no matter how well you understand the material.

    The idea that your present state can override your intellect makes sense because, biologically speaking, your emotions have the tendency to take over in certain situations.

    If you’re stressed or anxious, your brain will want to do a thousand things other than complete a complex assignment. So don’t be surprised if a person underperforms on a task; maybe it’s because they’re too stressed to focus.

    2.) Grades are less important than comprehension.

    If you study to memorize material for a test…well…congrats, you’ve learned to take that test. It doesn’t mean you’ve learned the material, though.

    A lot of what you will find on a typical written test is based on rote memorization. Facts and stats simply spilled onto a page without much context or need for deeper problem solving. This approach cannot accurately measure abilities. In fact, you might as well just play a game of Simon.

    That’s why grades aren’t quite effective at measuring comprehension. You need to be engaged and challenged to solve problems in new ways. This is something that doesn’t often translate to the standard grading rubric.

    3.) You can’t always quantify your strengths.

    As humans, we’re a lot more than just numbers on a page. Each of us has an incredible variety of different strengths and talents. The abilities typically measured by grades only cover a set range of them. Intelligence is just one of countless variables that will impact your grades.

    Grades are a flat, static scale, that aren’t as useful if you’re trying to judge something as dynamic as a person’s intellect. No single scale could give you a good look at a person’s unique mix of abilities, talents, work ethic, creativity, leadership skills, and how those traits influence one another.

    Relying on abstract metrics to define your strengths could lead you to miss out on great opportunities. For example, I happened to accidentally discover that I had an aptitude for technology when I was in high school. I took a basic class in computer programming, and that ended up sparking my interest. I’ve since built a successful career based on my IT background.

    That might never have happened if I’d stuck to what I believed were my aptitudes.

    4.) There are different kinds of intelligence.

    Imagine you have three people: a physicist, an expert historian, and a master artist.

    Each one is brilliant in their own. But if you measure them according to the skillsets of the other two, they might all look unremarkable when you grade their papers. It’s just like that quote we talked about earlier.

    In the same way they can’t adapt effectively to account for the balance of strengths and weaknesses in each person, grades also fail to recognize unique, adapted intelligences in larger populations. Even if your grades don’t reflect well on your abilities, it could be that they’re simply not looking at the right ones.

    5.) Your passion matters more.

    Intelligence refers to one’s ability to learn, understand, and apply knowledge and skills. But it doesn’t count for much if you don’t have the drive to do any of those things.

    If you’re studying something you don’t care about, you’re not likely to invest much energy in trying to comprehend it. Thus, a person with passion that pushes them forward is more likely to come out ahead of someone who might be a genius, but who isn’t motivated.

    That’s not to say you won’t be dedicating time and energy to some things you don’t really care about. But once you identify what you’re passionate about, you can learn to follow paths that will play to your strengths rather than your weaknesses.

    6.) Intelligence can still change.

    You’ve probably heard that your intelligence won’t ever change, that your thought capacity will remain largely the same throughout your life. However, many experts believe there is a good chance it can change over time.

    There is an idea known as the Incremental Theory of Intelligence that suggests intelligence can actually be developed and improved through training. Those who accept this theory are more likely to embrace challenges, be persistent, and learn from past mistakes compared to those who believe that intelligence is static and unchanging.

    Personally, I favor this view. By engaging in exercises to train your mind over time, you can boost your intelligence and shape your own reality.

    Bottom Line

    No one system could ever define your overall intelligence. This realization goes two ways: just as grades don’t dictate your intelligence, your intelligence also does not dictate your grades.

    If you’re not satisfied with your performance, then there are plenty of ways to improve. Grades are the result of a lot of factors; and hard work and commitmentare far more important than any surface-level evaluation. The only real limitation is how much time and effort you’re willing to invest.

     

    Originally Written by : Monica Eaton-Cardone
    Link to original article: click here

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    2 Secret Roads to Success – Why Some People Have It All and How You Can Too

    Have you wondered how some people seem to have it all – the 6-figure pay check, a healthy and fit body and amazing relationships? On the other hand, others are successful in one aspect of our lives (perhaps we are happy with our careers) but there’s always something that’s missing – that strong body, that perfect someone or living a meaningful life.

    I’ve personally experienced having a successful career but failed at having a healthy and strong body. When I finally succeeded at getting and staying healthy, I realized that there are two completely different approaches, both of which need to be mastered to find success in life – the goal-driven approach and the process-driven approach.

    The Goal-Driven Approach

    A goal-driven approach is one in which our goals themselves, are sufficient to motivate us to act until we achieve them. This works well for:

    1. Short-term goals lasting a few days or a few weeks, where we can see the end in sight and push ourselves to get there.
    2. Goals that are usually within or just outside our comfort zone.
    3. Goals that have some certainty of success at the end. For example, working overnight and acing the client presentation the next morning makes us feel proud of our achievement and gets us recognition from our boss.

    This approach inherently rewards speed, agility and short bursts of intense work. We end up relying on quick wins or successes which make the task worth it and help us feel motivated to achieve our goals.

    Most of us are very adept at using this approach because we’ve grown up in environments, traditional education and companies, which operate this way. Schools and universities set exams and corporate jobs require us to complete tasks upon which we get good grades or promotions.

    When the Goal-Driven Approach Doesn’t Work

    What a goal-driven approach doesn’t teach us though is how to approach long-term goals like staying healthy, having meaningful relationships or building our careers around our purpose in life.

    1. These goals are usually so big and so long-term that we don’t fully understand all the steps to reach them.
    2. They don’t have any immediate reward associated with them so our motivation to chase them decreases after the initial burst of inspiration. For example, it’s impossible to lose weight and keep it off by just eating healthy for a week.
    3. Because they are so long-term, any future action of ours can completely wipe out the gains made in the beginning of the process which is even more de-motivating. For example, a week of eating healthy can be wiped out by one night of bingeing.
    4. There is also no artificial sense of urgency like deadlines -so we need to find the motivation internally to engage in the task every day. If we ever try to impose timelines on these tasks, it only stresses us out and we compensate by completely sabotaging ourselves like eating an entire pack of cookies one fine night exhausted from a week of eating too little.

    “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra

    The Process-Driven Approach

    The process-driven approach breaks down our big goals into minute goals and creates a habit to execute these minute goals regularly.

    Putting such a habit into place is simple. Just follow these four steps:

    1. Break down your big vision into multiple long-term goals all of which have to work together to make your big vision come true. For example, for your big goal of feeling healthy and fit, you may break it down into eating healthier, exercising regularly and sleeping more.
    2. Pick one of the goals to focus on, ideally the one you think will have the biggest payoff.
    3. Break this goal down into a series of simple activities that you can do without much effort. For example, let’s say you picked eating healthier as your priority goal. One of the activities that might be sabotaging you is your regular McDonald’s dinner on the way back from work. A simple activity that can replace this is to stop driving by McDonald’s if it’s triggering your craving and take a different route back home instead.  This might take a little bit of willpower on the first day but as you get used to the new route over a couple of weeks, it’ll become an automatic habit.
    4. Once the first activity feels like a normal part of your day, stack on the second activity and so on. Similarly, once you’ve achieved the first goal, stack on the second, third and remaining goals to reach your long-term vision.

    How to Succeed with the Process-Driven Approach

    Though this seems simple in theory, there are two emotional and mindset changes needed to succeed with this method.

    The first is to be patient – instead of focusing on the big shiny dream, measure progress against the habit that you’re trying to cultivate. Accept that seeing the big vision come true takes months and sometimes years. Our biggest Achilles heel is impatience and while this works well in academia and work, it backfires in building health and relationships because we end up taking short cuts that harm us long term.

    The second is to build rewards into your process – Having rewards is the best way to motivate ourselves and makes our mini-habits easier to stick to. For example, if you don’t eat at McDonald’s then your reward could be having a spa massage at the end of the week.

    “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson

    Find The Right Balance

    At the end of the day, we need to master both goal-driven and process-driven approaches to succeed. Use the goal-driven approach for short-term goals or when you need a burst of energy to push you through a task. Use the process-driven approach for long-term lifestyle change journeys such as getting healthier, having more meaningful relationships or pursuing a career that resonates with your purpose in life. In this way, you too can soon be the person who seems to magically “have it all”.

    What are you doing today to reach success later on? Let us know your tips in the comments below!

     

    Originally Written by : Sai Aparajitha Khanna
    Link to original article: click here

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    Hold Yourself Accountable – Your Future Is In Your Hands!

    Everyone makes mistakes. All of us have made many mistakes throughout our lives.Many small mistakes, and some big mistakes.

    We’ve all let others down, and even worse… we’ve all let ourselves down at some point. Doing something you know you shouldn’t have:
    Acting in a way below your standards. Failing. Making mistakes. Not giving your all.

    What happens after moments like this can mean the difference between you living a life you can’t stand… and you living a life you love.

    Because what happens after these moments goes like this:
    The majority give up, cave in and suffer because of it.

    The minority hold themselves accountable – they acknowledge their mistakes, but they don’t let them become a virus that spreads throughout the rest of their life.

    They KNOW that their story will contain some ups and some downs… and they aren’t about to throw in the whole book because of one bad page.

    They do not let that one page turn into a chapter!

    They NEVER let one page turn into the story of their life!

    But that is what most people do.They let one argument ruin their day. They let one bad day ruin their week. They let one mistake define their life!

    MOVE ON!One mistake is NOT your entire life! One page does not define your book!

    Screw what has happened before. You do not have to suffer from it for the rest of your life.

    Throw away who you THOUGHT you were. WHO YOU ARE is so much bigger.

    What you are capable of is so much more. But you’ll never get to that so much more unless you TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your results.

    ALL RESULTS. Not just the results you want to claim. Not just the results you want to see.

    Many have said before that you are the author of your own life’s story…

    There’s the you of the past… AND NOW…There’s you OF YOUR FUTURE.

    YOU, who gets to DECIDE what will be written in the next chapter of your book.

    Having a cry isn’t holding yourself accountable.DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT is holding yourself accountable!

    Saying your going to do something doesn’t count. ONLY DOING something about it counts!

    It’s not good enough to acknowledge your mistakes. YOU MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

    Holding yourself accountable doesn’t mean others will never do you wrong. It doesn’t mean everything is your fault. It means, WHATEVER HAPPENS… you are going to make it work!

    WHATEVER HAPPENS… you are going to WIN! WHATEVER HAPPENS… nothing will stop you!

    Be one of the few who are STRONG ENOUGH to tell the world: I was not good enough… but I soon will be!

     

    Link to original article: click here

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    3 Tricks To Put That Cigarette Out

    The first time you smoked a cigarette you probably were with friends. Some of them were already smokers, and you just felt like trying it out. It wasn’t so bad, and you continued smoking from time to time, until you bought your first pack. Well, when you buy your first, you know it’s the real deal. From that point, you start building a habit. You smoke with your coffee in the morning, after lunch, in the evening, while drinking a beer, etc. What you probably didn’t know is that tobacco is just under cocaine in the drug dependency chart (see figure). Yeah, that sucks, because it’s probably one of the reasons why you have a hard time stopping. Yes, ONE of the many reasons why. There or tons of other a factors and they all come from your commitment. So if you are ready to put that cigarette out, continue reading for three great tips to put that cigarette out once and for all.

    3 Tricks To Put that cigarette out!

    Set Yourself Short Term Reasons

    Having a reason for quitting is important. You need to do this for yourself, not because someone else has told you to stop smoking. Make sure you have those reasons all setout and written down. When you find yourself struggling one day, you can look back at them and remind yourself why you’re putting yourself through this.

    There are lots of reasons to stop smoking. In the long run, we all want to be healthier and want to live to see our children or grandchildren grow up. But sometimes long term motivation doesn’t help on an everyday basis. To help you out, think about what bothers you about smoking. Don’t you hate the smell on your clothes and in your hair. How about the colour of your teeth? Maybe you feel enslaved having to go out every time you need a cigarette. Or you’re fed up the money that your are wasting on smokes? Remembering all these disadvantages when you feel the urge to light up will help you out.

    Create a SMART Plan

    One day, you can just wake-up and say that you will quit, but to really succeed, you need to create a SMART plan. To stop smoking you need more than just setting a date; you need to have measurable and achievable goals on a daily basis.

    Don’t know where to start? You could take the START approach, by telling your family member and friends that you are quitting. A good idea is to you can post your goal on Facebook, that way you will be more committed to get through it.

    You also have to prepare for withdrawals by acknowledging that they will happen and set up a plan to combat them. You will succeed if you plan ahead.

    Find a MeetUp

    There is no reason for you to got through this alone. One of the best things you can do is get help and support. Your family members will likely be extra supportive, knowing how much better it can make you feel. Also, you should find a support group. If you don’t know where to start, try to search “quit smoking” on MeetUp, to find support groups near you. The more people you have on your side, the easier you will find it!

    So, don’t be afraid to stop smoking. You are not the only one, people have done it before you. Believe you can set yourself free. Trust that you will see success, and you will have a healthy and smoke-free life afterwards. It’s all about taking that initial step today.

     

    Originally Written by : Salim
    Link to original article: click here

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    The 33 Best Lebron James Quotes

    Lebron James is one of the few players who can make a case for the best player ever. Along with Michael Jordan, he has surpassed many of the most talented players the NBA has ever seen.

    Lebron’s also had some epic quotes in his storied career but what else would you expect from the most talented man in basketball.

    Below, we celebrate some of the most inspiring quotes, as we watch this living legend make history.

    The 33 Best Lebron James Quotes

    1. You can’t be afraid to fail. It’s the only way you succeed – you’re not gonna succeed all the time, and I know that. – Lebron James
    2. I treated it like every day was my last day with a basketball. – Lebron James
    3. I have short goals – to get better every day, to help my teammates every day – but my only ultimate goal is to win an NBA championship. It’s all that matters. I dream about it. I dream about it all the time, how it would look, how it would feel. It would be so amazing. – Lebron James
    4. I’m going to use all my tools, my God-given ability, and make the best life I can with it. – Lebron James
    5. My father wasn’t around when I was a kid, and I used to always say, ‘Why me? Why don’t I have a father? Why isn’t he around? Why did he leave my mother?’ But as I got older I looked deeper and thought, ‘I don’t know what my father was going through, but if he was around all the time, would I be who I am today?’ – Lebron James
    6. My game is really played above time. I don’t say that like I’m saying I’m ahead of my time. I’m saying, like, if I’m on the court and I throw a pass, the ball that I’ve thrown will lead my teammate right where he needs to go, before he even knows that that’s the right place to go to. – Lebron James
    7. My mom and I have always been there for each other. We had some tough times, but she was always there for me. – Lebron James
    8. No place is better than Akron. – Lebron James
    9. Once you get on the playing field it’s not about whether you’re liked or not liked. All that matters is to play at a high level and do whatever it takes to help your team win. That’s what it’s about. – Lebron James
    10. Sometimes in the past when I played something might make me lose focus, or I would go home after a game where I thought I could have played better and I would let it hang over my head for a long time when it shouldn’t. – Lebron James
    11. I’m not going to fight because I mean too much to our team, and I can’t afford to be suspended for a game or do something stupid to get me kicked out of a playoff game.
    12. In fourth grade, I missed 82 days of school. Out of 160. – Lebron James
    13. There are always people always asking you for something. But I feel like I have a foundation. I have a supporting cast where it doesn’t bother me too much. – Lebron James
    14. There are some teams and logos you see, no matter where you are in the world, and you know exactly who they are and what they mean. – Lebron James
    15. There is a lot of pressure put on me, but I don’t put a lot of pressure on myself. I feel if I play my game, it will take care of itself. – Lebron James
    16. To all the positions, I just bring the determination to win. Me being an unselfish player, I think that can carry on to my teammates. When you have one of the best players on the court being unselfish, I think that transfers to the other players. – Lebron James
    17. Volleyball, I could be pretty good. After a few practices I could be that striker, or whatever they call it. – Lebron James
    18. I don’t know how tall I am or how much I weigh. Because I don’t want anybody to know my identity. I’m like a superhero. Call me Basketball Man. – Lebron James
    19. I don’t want to be called a point guard, but I can’t stop it. – Lebron James
    20. I hate letting my teammates down. I know I’m not going to make every shot. Sometimes I try to make the right play, and if it results in a loss, I feel awful. I don’t feel awful because I have to answer questions about it. I feel awful in that locker room because I could have done something more to help my teammates win. – Lebron James 
    21. I have short goals – to get better every day, to help my teammates every day – but my only ultimate goal is to win an NBA championship. It’s all that matters. I dream about it. I dream about it all the time, how it would look, how it would feel. It would be so amazing. – Lebron James
    22. Commitment is a big part of what I am and what I believe. How committed are you to winning? How committed are you to being a good friend? To being trustworthy? To being successful? How committed are you to being a good father, a good teammate, a good role model? There’s that moment every morning when you look in the mirror: Are you committed, or are you not? – Lebron James
    23. Every night on the court I give my all, and if I’m not giving 100 percent, I criticize myself. – Lebron James
    24. For me, already being part of a single-parent household and knowing it was just me and my mom, you’d would wake up times and hope that the next day you’d be able to be alongside your mother because she was out trying to make sure that I was taken care of. But all I cared about was her being home. – Lebron James
    25. I always say, decisions I make, I live with them. There’s always ways you can correct them or ways you can do them better. At the end of the day, I live with them. – Lebron James
    26. I am just happy to be part of the Nike family. – Lebron James
    27. But now, being a parent, I go home and see my son and I forget about any mistake I ever made or the reason I’m upset. I get home and my son is smiling or he comes running to me. It has just made me grow as an individual and grow as a man.You have to be able to accept failure to get better. – Lebron James
    28. I like criticism. It makes you strong. – Lebron James
    29. I hate letting my teammates down. I know I’m not going to make every shot. Sometimes I try to make the right play, and if it results in a loss, I feel awful. I don’t feel awful because I have to answer questions about it. I feel awful in that locker room because I could have done something more to help my teammates win. – Lebron James
    30. I don’t know how tall I am or how much I weigh. Because I don’t want anybody to know my identity. I’m like a superhero. Call me Basketball Man. – Lebron James
    31. I think team first. It allows me to succeed, it allows my team to succeed. – Lebron James
    32. Every night on the court I give my all, and if I’m not giving 100 percent, I criticize myself. – Lebron James
    33. Once you get on the playing field it’s not about whether you’re liked or not liked. All that matters is to play at a high level and do whatever it takes to help your team win. That’s what it’s about. – Lebron James

     

    Link to original article: click here

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